


Thus to Inflict My Heart

by lisacali



Category: Oz (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Historical, Drama, Established Relationship, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-10-03
Updated: 2013-10-03
Packaged: 2017-12-28 07:12:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 32,832
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/989217
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lisacali/pseuds/lisacali
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This is a sequel to <a href="http://archiveofourown.org/works/998279/">'A Fullness of Heart and a Passionate Grief'</a> written for the 2011 Boom Boom Baby challenge. It takes place in 16th century England, where Tobias and Christopher are returning home after being gone for three years. They are reunited with their friends and family and also their worst enemy. </p><p>Some bad things happen, 'cuz that's what I like to do with the poor babies. But it's not all bad.</p><p>This is not really a stand-alone story.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Thus to Inflict My Heart

**Author's Note:**

> My biggest thanks to Pat, as always being there at the last minute for beta'ing.
> 
> Also much, much appreciation for everyone who works so hard to put this challenge together, especially [ozsaur](http://archiveofourown.org/users/ozsaur/pseuds/ozsaur/%22). 
> 
> The title of this story was taken from a poem. I'd love to credit the author and give the title of the poem, but my laptop crashed with that information on it.
> 
> There are flashbacks in this story, some of them taken from "A Passionate Heart...". In these I made minor changes to make them fit the narrative of this story, mostly point of view. Nothing was changed to alter the plot or meaning of the story.
> 
> Dedicated to Rebecca.
> 
>  [aletter2elise](http://archiveofourown.org/users/aletter2elise/pseuds/aletter2elise/) did the amazing artwork for my story. She almost didn't participate this year, and I am so selfishly glad she changed her mind. She did the art for the prequel and I was thrilled when I found out she was doing the art for this as well. It's wonderful, and I thank her so much! Please be sure to check it out!
> 
> ["Artwork for the story is here!"](http://archiveofourown.org/works/995621)

 

_“The new boy is here!” Jeffrey, the servant boy who attended to the student’s needs, called this information into the dorm before hurrying off to spread the news. James Robson, Tobias Beecher, and Cyril O’Reily ran to the second-story window and looked out onto the courtyard. A boy who appeared to be their age – just entering their teens – was handing the reins of his horse to the stable boy while Master Estcher looked on. Taking his bag from behind the saddle, the new student followed the headmaster into the school._

_“It’s a disgrace!” James declared, his face sneering in disgust. “This school is for titled students – to let such as him in tarnishes the reputation.”_

_Cyril shook his head. “You mean titled students such as us, do you, Robson? My aunt had to beg money for Ryan and I to come here, and I believe if your family is to pay for you to stay on they’ll have to borrow the money back from the whores and gamblers who are now in charge of your family’s estate.”_

_Tobias could not hold his grin. He admired the young Irishman, who seldom lost his calm and could always find the perfect words to cut through a man’s self-import._

_Robson’s face turned red. “You are just as bad. Allowing foreigners to attend this prestigious institute mars its reputation.” He nearly spat the word ‘foreigner.’_

_“Robson, have you learned nothing?” Tobias pulled on his good jerkin in order to meet the new student as he spoke. “Elevating yourself by stepping on others only makes you look lazy and stupid. And Cyril is not a foreigner, Ireland is under English rule.”_

_“Don’t think you are so much better than us, Tobias Beecher, just because your grandfather had the king’s ear.”_

_“Well, which is it, Robson?” Cyril wondered. “Should we embrace our loftiness or hide it to preserve our modesty? Maybe being so near to Beecher will rub off on you. You can tell all how you went to a *prestigious* school with the grandson of a man who dined often with the great Henry.”_

_Robson glared. “Damned Irishman,” he muttered, and fled the room._

_The remaining boys laughed as they followed behind._

_In the main hall downstairs, Sir Estcher was waiting. When all the students were assembled, he made the introductions._

_“Gentleman, this is our new student, Christopher Keller, from Bedham. Mr. Keller, this is m’lord Cyril O’Reily and his brother Ryan, come to us from Ireland. Lord Robson of Dumont, Viscount Beecher of Reddam, and the future Duke of Diswall, Mark Demson.”_

_Keller bowed formally to each, but Tobias noted the quirk of a smile on his lips._

_“Gentleman, please escort our new student to the dormitory. A bed will be brought up shortly.”_

_In the large bedroom, Keller dropped his bag, looked at the group of young men looking on him curiously, and asked, with a wide grin, “How far a journey is it to find a cheap mug of ale and a cheaper wench to share it with?”_

**********

“I thought you were still asleep, yet here your are with a devil’s smile on your face.”

“I was thinking of the first time we met.”

Christopher came into the room, sitting on the edge of the bed. “Oh, those were the times, were they not?”

“I still cannot believe any of us managed an education, especially you and O’Reily.” Beecher wrapped his hand around his lover’s neck and pulled him down next to him.  
“ ‘tis sad that for all Cyril’s hard work in the classroom, he retains none of that knowledge.”

“I wonder how he does now, along with his brother and wife.” Keller stroked Tobias’ cheek. “You seem to be feeling better this morning.”

“I am, and feeling a sot for laying about in bed while you have been up and about.”

“The sun has not been up long, and you looked so peaceful, I could not bring myself to wake you. But now you can dress and come see the three new lambs born in the night."

“Three! Then all have been delivered?”

“No.” Christopher was pulling a pair of tights from the large chest of drawers and handing them to Tobias. “It is as we thought – the large one with the black nose had twins, so there is still one left to go.”

“More twins! We have been lucky, have we not?”

The men chatted while Beecher dressed and then they headed out to the field behind their small vineyard to look at the new lambs.

After speaking with Stef, the boy who tended their growing flock of sheep, the men ventured further on, climbing the hill that marked the south end of their property. This was something they did every morning, separately or together. After three years, they were still enthralled by their new life. They had their sheep, and their grapes, and last year they had planted olive trees, hoping to produce enough oil for their own use and a small amount to sell. There was also a large vegetable garden and chickens for eggs and a cow for milk and butter and cheese. They had several beautiful horses in the barn, along with a mule to pull a cart to town.

They still had plenty of Toby’s money, brought on their escape from England, but they seemed well on their way to the life they wanted – having the means to support themselves with what they grew and having a small bit to sell or trade for the things they needed.

They had brought a whole family, the parents and their three children, from the village at the bottom of the hill to live with them to tend the house and garden, and take care of the animals. They had expanded the servants quarters to include a separate house for the family.

Toby was proving to have an instinct for taste for the wine and after following the directions left to them by the former vineyard owner the first year, he made some changes on their second pressing, and they were eager to see how it faired when the wine finished aging.

Christopher was a master at selling. He was able to charm the owner of one of the area’s leading wine houses into buying several bottles of their wine for his own private stock, and he received top dollar for the fine woolens weaved by Triana and her daughters.

Later that morning, while Tobias walked through the vineyard, planning the where he would expand next year, Christopher was in the house, oiling and working a pair of boots when Elia, the youngest daughter, knocked on his bedroom door.

“Sir, you have visitors.”

Christopher put aside his boots, curious and also on guard. It was not unusual for them to have visitors – they had easily made friends in the area and also in the coastal towns a half day’s ride away. He and Beecher would occasionally travel to the coast, when things were quiet on their small estate, to enjoy the faster pace of life there. They would spend the evening in a pub that provided entertainment, or patronize the theater, or sometimes visit a rougher drinking establishment, close to the piers, to talk with the sailors that had sailed in from distant ports, sharing news and information of their native England. They had concerns that someone would recognize them; Christopher, an escaped convict and Tobias, his aid in that escape – and both possibly charged with murder. But it really mattered not – nothing could be done to compel them to return to England against their will.

Still, Christopher made sure his long dagger was in the holster at his side as he approached the outside patio where the visitors were waiting.

“Christopher!”

Keller’s mouth dropped open in surprise before curving into a delighted grin. “Cyril!”

Keller ran to his old friend, once a bright and cunning boy, now a friendly, smiling man with the manner of a child, the result of a cowardly push from Harold Shillinger, when he lost a duel with Cyril.

It had been many years since he had seen Cyril, and his joy was full as he hugged the younger brother of his friend Ryan O’Reily, standing nearby with a grin of his own.

“What brings you, brother?” Christopher asked, pulling Ryan into an embrace.

“We have news from the Queen, good news for you.”

“Christopher, we were on a big boat! It was fun, but I got sick.”

“I hear that happens often, Cyril. Let us go find Tobias and you can tell both of us about your trip.”

The four toured the vineyard and farm, while Ryan told them what had brought him and his brother to Italy.

“After we parted in the woods, I hurried to the homes of your fathers, delivering the messages from both of you. And then I took for home. Even though Elizabeth rules Ireland, I thought it safer than in England. And I’ve not been back until last month, after I received word from Lord Beecher that Keller had been pardoned and we all were safe from prosecution for any part in his escape.”

Tobias crossed himself and he and Keller embraced. "Finally, I knew it would happen someday," Tobias said.

"Your father asked that I come and bring you the news."

O'Reily recalled every detail he could of his visit with Beecher’s parents, and relayed how excited they were to see him, and Christopher. He told Tobias that Lord Beecher had sent on the request from his son to the Queen that Genevieve be granted a divorce on grounds of abandonment if Tobias did not return in two years time, and she had granted his request. Genevieve had married Robert Rebadow soon after, and Tobias’ name had been stricken from ownership of the Cheltenham estate, to be held for his son until he came of age.

Ryan shook his head. “I do not know, brother, if I could let the world think that I had abandoned my son.”

“Would it be better to be thought of a cuckhold and the child a bastard?”

“You owe nothing to Genevieve – you are here and she is there. Let her be the one to listen to the whispers and accusations, since she is the one who caused them.”

Tobias frowned. “I was bitter after I learned of her betrayal, but it would serve nothing for others to think her a whore, and the child is an innocent. I loved her at one time and that is what I must hold in my heart.”

Ryan shrugged. “Genevieve left you with two sides of a dirty coin – neither way it lands can you shine.”

Christopher stepped toward O’Reily, clapping him on the back. “Let’s talk of more pleasant things, such as your bride. How fares our sister, Glory, now that she lives the life of a milkmaid?”

“She does well, and has made our farm much more than it is. She has taken up her work as nurse to the countryside and is often gone with her basket of potions and remedies. She only wishes there were someone more compatible to travel with her. My aunt would like to accompany her, but she has grown much more frail in the recent years. There is a woman we hired as housekeeper, and she has knowledge of medicine, but she is older and sour, and chides Glory when she refuses payment for her services.”

“And you, Cyril, what keeps you busy?” Keller noticed the satisfied grin on Ryan’s face at the question, and turned eager attention to the younger brother.

Cyril looked up from his position on the ground, where he was lovingly petting the lamb on his lap. “I teach horses to be good!”

“Is that so?” Tobias squatted down next to Cyril and stuck his hand in the thick wool of the lamb. “You always were good with the animals.”

“ ’tis quite true, he trains horses now,” Ryan said, the pride evident in his voice. “After his accident, I noted they seemed even more gentle around him, yet I was nervous, as well - I was afraid if he were to be struck by a wild hoof, all would be over for him. Then one day about two years ago I was at a farm to look at some ponies, and I lost track of Cyril. I found him in a small pasture with a large bay, holding the reins and stroking its nose. The farmer I was dealing with grabbed my arm and told me that everyone was afraid to come close to that horse. Yet there was Cyril, friends with it in a moment.”

Christopher stopped him, pointing to the house. Triana was waving a towel from the patio of the home. “Lunch is ready. Let us share our wine with you and you can finish your story.”

Tobias jumped to his feet and put out his hand to pull Cyril to his, and then into a hug. “I am so pleased to see you again, my friend.”

Cyril hugged him back. “I miss you.”

The four men walked to the house, content in the company they kept.

Over a meal of roasted lamb, vegetables and cheese, Ryan finished telling his friends about the new direction their lives had taken. “I decided that gaming and fighting was no longer a decent way to bring coin into my pocket…”

“Especially with Glory telling you to stop, correct?” Tobias pointed his knife at his friend with a grin.

“True, for some reason she thought she should be married to a respectable man.”

“And yet she chose you.” Beecher joined Keller in laughing at his remark.

“She did, and my life is much the better. I’ve built up quite a stable of good horseflesh to sell, and Cyril travels with me, earning a good wage calming the animals.” Ryan directed a proud smile toward his brother. “It is most remarkable to witness.”

“And as remarkable,” O’Reily continued, “is this life you have made for yourselves.” Ryan held his mug of wine aloft before tipping it back and emptying it. “Back in the yard of that small cottage in the woods, facing Robson and his men, it was doubtful if we would have any lives at all.

“And what of that? What of Shillinger?” Tobias asked. “And the death of Robson?”

“There is no news.” Ryan sampled another bite of goat cheese, speaking around the morsel. “Your father has not been to court since you left, and he has heard nothing. And I had no time to look up anyone I knew during my brief period in England. Shillinger could be sitting at the Queen’s right hand for all we know, or perhaps he has fled to Paris to be with his other son.”

“Perhaps it is a trick. She only wants us back on English soil to now accuse of our part in Robson's death.”

“Are you coming home?” Cyril asked, looking hopeful.

“Mayhap, Cyril, at least for a time.” Christopher looked at Tobias. “I do not think that Elizabeth would stoop to lies and deceit to lure us home. But I cannot imagine why she wishes this pardon now – I was sure she would no longer even remember my name after a few months.”

Tobias rolled his eyes. “I am most assured she will never forget you, Christopher.”

“The timing is not good. There is much to be done here.”

“I could take word to Elizabeth,” O’Reily offered, “a letter from you explaining your situation, telling her you will come later.”

Both Beecher and Keller shook their heads.

“No,” said Keller, “it will not do to risk her anger. If we are to ever wish to return to England, we must go now.”

Ryan nodded his understanding, and after finishing his glass of wine he and Cyril followed the housekeeper to the room she had prepared for them. They were exhausted and would go to bed early.

Keller went to the back of the house to discuss the next day’s work with the staff; when he was done he found Beecher standing on the front patio, looking out over their property and beyond, the darkening sky already showing its abundance of stars, as though God himself had taken handfuls of diamonds and scattered them throughout the Heavens.

“It is truly a beautiful home we have made.” He embraced his lover from behind and spoke quietly into his ear. “I still find myself reassuring myself it is not a dream that I finally have you.”

Tobias gripped the arms holding him. “It is indeed an ideal life.” Christopher felt him take a deep breath before he continued. “There is no reason to leave it.”

He wasn’t sure he understood. “What are you saying?”

“We can stay – there is no reason to go back, unless you desire the Queen’s pardon enough to make the journey.” Christopher could hear the smile in his lover's voice. “And it would give you a chance to revisit your glory days of court life.”

Christopher turned Tobias to face him. “That means nothing to me as long as I have you, but what of your family? I know you regret never saying a proper good-bye. If we do not use this opportunity of the Queen’s forgiveness, how long until we may dare venture on English soil again?”

“They understand the actions men must sometimes take. I can send letters back with O’Reily.”

“I do not quite understand. We’ve talked of this many times, of the day we may return home to see your family.”

“I know, but the journey will be long and there is so much to do here, as you said.” Tobias pulled on Christopher’s collar with a grin. “Unless you miss the debauchery of court life and look to return for a taste of it.”

“None of that, but I would not mind seeing a few old friends.”

“We have had this conversation before.”

“And we never came to a decision.”

******

_Christopher put his hand over Tobias’ mouth. “You will wake the household,” he whispered with a breathy laugh._

_“The household is rooms away.” Tobias turned his head to free himself completely from Christopher’s hand. “And it is our household, I will wake them all if I choose.”_

_Christopher flopped onto his back. “Would you wish the distress of those little children seeing us naked in bed?”_

_“I believe their parents would not let it come to that. And I would blame you, anyhow. I thought my cock would be sucked from my body.” Tobias got up and gently massaged the body part in mention before moving to the table at the window of their bedroom, pouring each of them a glass of wine. “Should their home not be finished by now?”_

_“It’s not been so long that we started, love,” Christopher answered, taking the wine and slaking the tremendous thirst he had built up the last hour spent in the bed with his lover._

_Tobias finished his glass and lay back down. He stared at the ceiling for several minutes, admiring the wood inlays that decorated the portion above them, then tilted his head to look briefly at the headboard, another carved creation of beauty that Christopher had brought home only a month ago from a trip to the main land of Italy._

_Tobias took Christopher’s hand, rousing him from a light doze. “We have created a beautiful home here.”_

_“Yes.” Christopher squeezed the hand in his. “And a beautiful life. Of course, with you that was never in question.”_

_“Do you think anymore of going back?”_

_“Sometimes.”_

_“And would you?”_

_Christopher turned toward Tobias and raised himself on one arm. “What do you mean? To stay?”_

_“To stay, or return here, either.”_

_“Has it been on your mind?” Christopher ran his fingers lightly over the other’s chest, up to his shoulder to gently massage the light red marks his teeth had left not long ago._

_“We have said we would go back if ever pardoned, but would you really want to?”_

_“Honestly, Toby, I do not know that I need to. In these last two years, my longing for England has waned somewhat. I will always miss it, and the chance to ride the forests along the Thames again with my friends by my side fills me with a longing at times. But with my father gone now, and you with me, I have no great need to return.” He bent his head to lightly kiss his lover’s lips. “I have a lifetimes worth already of court life and battles and life lived on the move. All I need is here. But we will go, if the opportunity arises. I would have you say your good-byes to your family, and make sure all is going as it should with your estate.”_

*********

“It would be a pity for the O’Reilys to have traveled all this way, only to have to return home without us.”

“We will think on it, Tobias. Let’s go to bed early and we can discuss it.”

But before there could be much talk, Tobias was on his hands and knees while Christopher knelt behind him and buried his cock deep. Christopher fucked him and stroked him, and Tobias urged him on, pushing back against him, humping into his hand and reaching behind him to grab onto Christopher’s hip, calling out for him to fuck him even harder. Christopher came first, shouting his lover’s name, squeezing tight and forcing Tobias to his own release.

They collapsed into each other’s arms, and when Christopher could catch his breath he said, “We will go. I would have you see your family, and I will see my honor restored. Tomorrow we will make arrangements and leave as soon as possible.”

*****

They left within days, trusting their home and farm to their servants, and leaving instructions with the local magistrate that if they did not return within the year, their absence should be investigated and, if finding that for whatever reason they would not be returning, the property should go to that loyal family.

Ryan told them the Court was planning some sort of ceremony, during which many pardons would be granted. But tha was not for quite a few weeks, so they had time to travel leisurely over land, enjoying each other’s company.

“Just like those days we spent traveling along the Thames, the spring after you had returned from your first battle.”

Keller and O’Reily had ridden ahead of Cyril and Tobias and were now sitting on the bank of a clear, blue river, waiting for them.

“I remember it well, my friend. That was when I realized my affections for Beecher were more than friend.”

“What?” Ryan looked at Keller in amazement. “That was many years ago! You kept those feelings to yourself all that time?”

Keller nodded. “I had to. I treasured his friendship too much. And already he was looking to marry Genevieve – I had to let him live the life he had planned. It wasn’t until he became so unhappy in that life that I allowed myself to reveal my true feelings.”

“You know I cannot understand this love between you, but I am glad you have it. You both are more happy and content than I have ever seen you.”

“And Beecher and I are both so happy for you and Glory. And now to see that Cyril has found a place for himself in the world, despite what happened to him. It is a good life for us all, my friend.”

**********

The men all enjoyed their ride across France greatly, and the trip across the channel was uneventful, with clear skies and calm seas blessing their journey. As they rode into London, Tobias could not help but notice the look of excitement and anticipation on Christopher’s face. Tobias himself could not deny feeling as though he had come home. The sights and smells, even those of an unpleasant nature, along with the rush of people and wagons and carriages, fighting for space in the streets, were undeniably those of London. Keller had spent much more time here than Beecher and knew the perfect manor house to rent rooms from. Once settled in and after resting in the fine feather beds, luxury after the rope hammocks of the ship, Ryan and Christopher took Cyril out to see the city while Tobias wrote two letters – one to the council of Hampton Court, informing them that they had arrived and were anxiously awaiting word to be called to court.

The other was sent to his parents, letting them know they were safely back on English soil. “We know not how long until we may leave to be reunited with you, but the longing for that reunion will be foremost in my heart until it happens. O’Reily would also hurry this matter at court to move quickly, so that he will see his beloved wife in short time.”

The evening meal was spent dining on favorite English fare, such as quail and sausage and boiled potatoes, along with biscuits and jam.

“The food, I will admit, is passable, but when will you English learn to make a decent ale?” Ryan sipped at his cup, frowning as he swallowed.

“I would hate to see how much you drink of a liquid you enjoy, as our undesirable ale never seems to stop you from drinking your fill.” Keller tipped his own mug in O’Reily’s direction.

“Bad taste is no reason to not be sociable.”

Beecher laughed. “So it your desire to be polite that keeps you in your cups, is it?”

“Speaking of society’s rules makes me wonder what will be in store for us when we finally reach Hampton Court.”

“I would hope Elizabeth would not bring us home to pardon us and then throw us to the street.” Keller smiled wistfully. “A few nights at court would not cause me any discomfort.”

Beecher nodded. “I knew you missed court life, as much as you say to the contrary.”

“And I still have not said I miss it – I said it would not cause me discomfort to revisit it for a few nights.”

“You headed for Hampton Palace?”

This came from the serving girl who was refilling their mugs.

“Aye,” O’Reily answered for them, winking at the comely young woman, an action which earned a kick to the ankle from Beecher. “Be still, Beecher, ’tis only a simple gesture. Your lovely sister remains firmly in my loyal heart.”

The serving girl smiled appreciatively at O’Reily, then turned her attention to Keller, bending low to fill his mug. “I’ve heard there’s a large celebration goin’ on there at the palace,” the girl said in a thick, low-country accent. “Seems our Majesty Elizabeth is givin' a pardon to several gentlemen and wants to welcome them home. My cousin works in the kitchen there, and she said there’s plans for a banquet and games and a pageant.”

Christopher leaned forward, casting an admiring glance at the plunging neckline in front of him. “And did she say when these celebrations might be taking place?” he asked.

“They begin the next Sunday.”

“Thank you, my dear.” Christopher slipped a coin into the bodice of the girl’s dress. She blushed and went on her way. Christopher leaned back into his seat. “Now we have more of an idea when we should expect to be called.”

“I believe the lass would have parted with that information without the charm or the gold.” Tobias arched his brow. “It was not as though she were spreading secrets. Although,” he said with a wry grin, “it seemed she had something else she might be willing to spread for you.”

Keller and Ryan laughed, joined by Cyril, even though he did not understand the humor.

 ********** 

The next day the men sought out a reputable tailor, in need of fine clothing suitable for court.

“I don’t want to wear this,” Cyril complained, pulling at the stiff collar around his neck.

“I know, brother, it is truly a device of torture. But it is only for formal events – and you may not even need to wear it.”

After a quick lunch back at their rooms, the O’Reilys rode out of the city to a farm not far away, owned by their cousins. They would spend two nights before returning.

After the brothers left, Christopher stood looking out the window for several minutes, until Tobias came up behind him, peering over his shoulder. “What holds your interest?”

“Making sure our Irish friends are on their way.” Christopher pulled Tobias in front of him and pressed up behind him, pushing him against the leaded glass. “So that they will not come back to interrupt us while my tongue finds a home in your ass.”

Tobias gasped and surged involuntarily against the window. The window was small, so his lower half was not visible to the yard outside, which was a blessing as his hose and tights were lowered to his ankles so quickly he could not protest, not that he had thoughts in that area.

“Ah, Tobias, you are delicious.” Christopher rubbed his cheek against the round globes of flesh in front of him. Tobias pressed his forehead against the window, as though simply taking in the sights, but when Christopher’s attention turned more serious, and his questing tongue came into play, Tobias quickly pulled one of the heavy draperies in front of him, burying his gasps of pleasure in the velvet folds.

**********

 _“Toby, are you_ _well_?”

_Christopher was waiting for him outside the small house, leaning against the low wall around the front of it for all the world that he belonged there. He was so confident and sure, his smile wide and his eyes merry as he grabbed hold of Tobias’ arm and steered him to the street._

_“Am I well? I feel quite well.”_

_“You seem a bit flushed, and your eyes are glassy.”_

_Tobias hooked his arm around Christopher’s neck and pulled him close to speak into his ear. “She put her finger in my arse! And then her tongue!”_

_Christopher laughed; Tobias knew he amused Christopher, who had much more knowledge of such things as he did, but he was not insulted – they were friends above all. And it was Christopher who had introduced him to the woman with the talented fingers...and tongue._

_**********_

Later, as they lay in bed, Tobias collapsed on top of Christy, unwilling to pull himself free from the heat of his body, he reminded his lover of that day.

“You were so nervous going in,” Christopher remembered, turning his head to look behind him at Tobias, sprawled upon his back. “You thought one step in a whore house and you would be sent to hell - and then you wanted to return that same evening. It was only the shortage of coin that kept us away.”

“You were not a good influence on me, sweet Christy. It was you who introduced me to whores, and games of chance found in alley ways and barn lofts, and how to convincingly lie to my mother.”

Christopher shifted, and Tobias fell to the side with a small cry of loss.

“You are heavy,” Christopher said, turning on his side to look at Tobias. “I regret lying to your mother, she was so good to me.” He pulled Tobias close and kissed him. “I look forward to meeting with that good lady again.”

Tobias returned the kiss fully. “As do I. I only wish my brother could be there."

“Perhaps he can make the journey.” Christopher climbed from bed and stretched, giving Tobias a good look at the body that provided so much pleasure. "We should dress."

“And why is that?” Tobias asked, stretching out himself, with hands behind his head and legs spread wantonly.

Christopher opened his mouth to reply, and then closed it again. “I have no answer for that question.” With a shout, he jumped on the bed, pinning his lover beneath him.

********

The next morning they visited the tailor, making sure the progress was where it should be on their new clothes, and then spent the rest of the day visiting the various shops, purchasing gifts for the Beecher family and for Glory, and stopping frequently at the inns and pubs for food and drink.

At one pub, as the sun was beginning to set, they came upon an old friend of theirs, John Westin.

“Is that the outlaw Keller I see, along with his cohort Beecher?”

“Westin!” The men embraced warmly, and Westin invited them to join him at his table.

“I heard you might be returning for the celebration next week. Elizabeth has sent out many pardons to those charged with minor crimes.”

“Or those that did not occur?” Beecher mumbled into his sleeve.

Westin smiled. “Elizabeth’s popularity is not at it’s best right now, so she is taking measures to appear forgiving and compassionate.” He signaled the serving girl to bring ale and bread for them.

“Were you about when Shillinger returned to court after our confrontation with his man Robson?”

“Aye. I was at court then. Elizabeth was not happy with him, and addressed him badly in front of her council. He was incensed that your escape had been celebrated by the people – did you know they were singing songs in your praise in the pubs, Keller?”

“I believe I did hear that rumor.”

Beecher laughed. “Your modesty is unbecoming, Keller.” To Westin he explained – “Keller found someone who knew the song just before we sailed and had him teach it to us. Any time he had more than his share of drink, he began singing it. There are pubs and inns all across Europe who have been privileged to hear Keller’s rendering of that tune.”

Westin joined in the laughter. “I have no problem believing that story.”

“Now, back to Shillinger, if you please,” Keller said, acting the injured party.

“Yes, of course. After the Queen’s displeasure, the Count demanded justice for the death of Robson. He petitioned Elizabeth and the council to swear a warrant for all of you in his murder.”

“And did the council know the what else went on there? Did they hear how Robson murdered my man Barlog as he tried to save me from the same fate?”

Beecher discreetly placed his hand on Keller’s leg under the table. Though it had been three years since that fateful day, he knew Keller’s grief and especially his guilt over the death of Ronald Barlog was still strong in his head and heart.

“Yes, the truth came out. All know that Robson’s intent was to kill you and falsely claim you had tried to escape.”

“One of Shillinger’s men was witness to Robson’s confession, and I assume he told of what he witnessed, but after that he had been struck unconscious – he saw neither Barlog’s death nor Robson’s.”

“True, and it’s because of that, and because of the circumstances, that no charges were brought. Shillinger was enraged, and said this proves that the Queen favors Keller unfairly. He charged that it was her fondness for Keller that cleared him of his own son’s death.”

Beecher’s eyes widened. “And what was her response?”

“She was furious, almost beyond speech. She told him to go find his live son and be a father to him instead of worrying so about the dead one, who had brought about his own demise.”

Keller could not help a sour grin. “I hope he did as commanded. I would be a happy man to never see him again.”

“I’ve been in the North country for the last year, so I would not know if he’s been about, but he has nothing here for him. His son has been in France for many years – perhaps Shillinger has joined him.”

The men then turned their conversation to more pleasant things, and passed a happy hour together.

 

When they returned to their rooms, with the sun close to setting, Beecher quickly rid himself of most of his clothing, down to only his chausses. “Will you undress?” He moved to Keller and began the task himself, unlacing the ties on his lover’s jerkin.

Keller smiled appreciatively. "You are in a good mood."

“It was a good day, and the thought of the channel being between us and Shillinger makes it even better.”

“Then I will comply,” Keller grinned, pushing his pants to his ankles, and Beecher onto the bed. “I would hate to do anything to remove that smile from your face.”

**********

They spent most of the next morning in bed, enjoying the freedom of having nothing to do or nowhere to go. They had dressed and were seated at the table, Tobias drinking a mug of ale, while Christopher polished and sharpened his knives by lamplight when O’Reily returned late that afternoon. He seated himself at the table and poured a drink from the flagon of wine sitting there.

“I need money.”

Christopher and Tobias grinned at each other. “If you had a coin for every time you uttered those words, you would not need say them again,” Keller said. "Where is Cyril?"

"He is in our room, eating sweets. We stopped at the tailor and the fitting had him grow tired and cranky. So we went to a sweets shop and now he will eat until he has a belly ache. Now, about the money - this time it is for a noble cause, one you will support me in." He took a drink and continued. "After returning to London, we went to visit my old friend Amy."

"And now you are penniless?"

“Who is Amy?” Beecher asked. “Is she a whore?”

“Yes,” O’Reily answered, putting his hands up in defense. “But she is also a friend, and my visit was held in the parlor.”

Making sure Beecher was appeased, and that he had no intention of straying from his marriage, O’Reily continued. “But you will never guess who I found while I was there.”

“Was it that wench with the bright red hair, the one who could use her tongue…”

“No!” Ryan laughed at the displeased look on Beecher’s face and went on. “It was our accomplice from Warwick, Mary.”

“Mary!” Both men exclaimed her name.

“Is she living here now, then?” Keller leaned toward O’Reily, and Tobias knew how happy he was to hear of the girl who had done so much to care for him, and then help him escape from his captivity at Warwick castle. She had been enamored of Christopher, and had her head turned by O’Reily, and through it all remained a sweet, shy young woman. They recalled Ryan’s first encounter with her:

_At Beecher’s command, a young girl, with long, shining gold hair came in, carrying a tray laden with a pitcher, a half loaf of bread, and what appeared to be many small bowls of jams and butters. Ryan quickly jumped from his chair and went to her, taking the heavy burden from her and setting it on the table._

_“Thank you, Sir,” she stammered, dropping into a courtesy and blushing at the notion of a gentleman helping her._

_Ryan brought her up from her bow with a hand to her chin. “What is your name, Lady?”_

_She blushed even harder at the inappropriate address. “I…I am Mary, Sir.”_

_Ryan hid his laughter and realized his teasing had gone far enough. “Thank you for the nourishment, Mary. I believe will be needing another pitcher soon enough. Perhaps some wine if the house can spare it?”_

_“Aye, Sir,” she said as she fled from the room._

_Ryan turned to find Keller laughing at him and Beecher shaking his head in disapproval._

_“She is a child, O’Reily,” Beecher chided. “You go too far.”_

_“Ha!” Ryan smirked at his friend’s words. “That was only but a step in going too far!” He winked at Keller and reclaimed his seat at the table_.

"She knew I only teased here," O'Reily said, and in answer to Keller's question - "She is living here, but not of her choice." O'Reily drained his mug and then explained to his friends how  he had come about finding the girl.

“As I approached Amy’s house, she was out front arguing with a young woman. Amy was telling the girl she could not peddle her wares in front of her house, and the girl was crying. When I approached, I saw it was our Mary.” He held his mug out. “A refill, please.” He took another drink and continued.

“We took her inside and she explained she and her brother, Peter, had come back to the small family farm outside of London, only to find their mother and two younger sisters had died the year before from the sweating sickness.”

“That damn illness takes far too many.” Keller shook his head.

“And it gets worse even yet. They went to work as servants for a wealthy family, until a few months ago when Peter was thrown from a horse and killed.” O’Reily finished his drink, rubbing at his eyes to try and wipe the memory of her sorrow.

“Poor Peter.” Christopher looked gratefully at Tobias for the comforting hand on his arm. “He was such a help to me when I was imprisoned, before you came and took me from that dungeon. I fear I would have been much worse if not for him.”

“And so how did Mary go from that home to the streets?” Beecher asked.

“The family had really only wanted Peter for work in the fields; they had taken Mary to secure his strength. When he was gone, she was turned out.”

Christopher banged his mug on the table, sending drops of ale flying. “I would like to find this family and repay them in kind!”

“As would I. But for now we need only worry about taking care of the girl. Amy will keep her until we finish our stay at Court and leave for Beecher’s home in Reddam. I have asked her to come and be a companion for Glory.”

“A wonderful idea!” Keller raised his cup in a toast to his friend.

“And in the meantime?” Beecher asked. “Is it proper for a girl to be staying in such a place?”

“Firstly, she is not a girl any longer, Beecher, but a young woman now. And what are our choices? To stay with us? You can be assured that Amy will give her a home far better than where she was. And she can arrange for the girl to get new clothes and any personal items she needs. We only need to provide the coin.”

Beecher and Keller were in agreement; they filled a purse with what they thought suitable for a new trousseau and more, and then, after checking on Cyril, made their way to the busy street on which Amy’s house was located. There were other bawdy houses, and several inns and pubs, but they were all neat and the street was no dirtier than any other in the crowded town. 

After a heartwarming reunion, in which Mary was brought from tears of shame to tears of gratitude, the men left with a promise to return for her as soon as their meeting with the Queen was finished.

**********

A few days later the men rode through the courtyard of Hampton Palace, Ryan leading his brother’s horse to allow him to gape in wonder at his surroundings. Cyril had been to court more than a few times in his younger days, but this was the first time since his injury had left him with the mind of a child.

Although Tobias was never a man of the court as Keller was, even he could not deny the overwhelming grandeur of the royal residence. Inside, the walls were covered in rich velvet hangings and embroidered silk tapestries, and polished silver chandeleers held thousands of candles, waiting to be lit.

Courtiers lined the halls, visiting and gossiping and vying for the attention of those of a higher class, most looking for an audience with the Queen either to ask a specific favor or simply to earn an acquaintanceship that might do them good in the future.

The men were shown to their rooms, small, dark chambers, deep in the castle.

“Apologies,” the page who attended them said, “but there are many people here in the castle and rooms are scarce.”

“Just like when we were young, begging for rooms as we traveled the country,” Ryan said, ruffing his brother’s long hair.

“I think the rooms will not matter much,” said Beecher. “The courtiers we talked to on the way in said there is much planned for the next few days. We will probably be here only for sleeping.”

Keller arched a brow at this. “Some more than others, I wager.”

Ryan grimaced and took his brother’s hand. “That is our signal to leave, Cyril.” To Beecher and Keller he queried, “Will you be going out this evening? I think I will just find someone to bring us a light dinner and stay in.”

“That is a good idea, my brother.” Beecher looked to Keller. “I am all for resting up this evening, you may prowl the halls as you wish.”

But Keller thought the small, lumpy straw mattress too inviting, and all four men slept quickly after a simple dinner of dried meat and bread and ale.

 **********

The next morning, Keller, Beecher and Ryan were escorted to the waiting area outside the Queen’s presence chamber, where she received the nobles and dignitaries and citizens requesting favor from their monarch. They had decided the event would be too formal and overwhelming for Cyril, and as he was not invited he would have to wait for them alone anyhow.

They were kept waiting almost an hour, but the time passed quickly as they were reunited with friends and acquaintances, many surprised to see them, not having learned of their pardons.

Beecher was most interested to see how many young – and elder – ladies of the court seemed to be on a friendly basis with Christopher. Keller threw more than a few apologetic looks to a bemused Beecher when several curtsies were dropped deep enough so that Christopher might “remember all of them,” as Beecher whispered to O’Reily.

He also noted a few young men, much less obvious, acting a bit more friendly than most. He could not deny a twinge of jealousy, but it was he who woke with Christopher’s head on his arm and it was he who would be fucking Christopher tonight.

"Beecher, have you seen your wife yet?"

Tobias turned to find Stephen Glynn, Duke of Fortner, standing there with a smirk. Stephen was a former neighbor and good friend of the younger Robert Rebadow, now stepson to Beecher’s former wife. Tobias had met him on occasion only briefly, but had no desire to become further acquainted. The man was pompous and loyal only to those who could further his station.

“Stephen.” Tobias bowed. “It had been many years. What brings you to Hampton court today?”

“I have been staying here – the Queen has appointed me a member of her council.”

“Congratulations.”

“Thank you. And I know why you are here, of course. Elizabeth has finally deemed your treason not so treasonable and allowed you back on British soil.”

Tobias bristled, but maintained his smile. “It seems she has. Though I do not recall treason being mentioned in a copy of the pardon she sent to us a few days ago.”

“Perhaps. But to help in the escape of a man who was soon to be tried for the crime of treason, and then to leave the country with him...we all draw our own conclusions.” Fortner turned to his friends standing beside him, smirking into their over-laced sleeves.

“Beecher, there you are. I thought I had lost you in this crowd. Who is your friend?”

Tobias could tell by Christopher’s wide smile that he had overheard at least part of the conversation.

“Sir Keller, this is Lord Stephen Glynn of Fortner – he is a good friend of the Rebadow family.”

"And now member of the Queen's council," one of the friends added pompously.

“Indeed?” Christopher removed his cap and bowed low. “At your service, m’lord. As a former felon I value the acquaintanceship of anyone with access to the Queen’s ear, perhaps to put in a good word for me.”

Tobias maintained his serious demeanor, though it was hard, as several in the small group of men who had gathered knew that Keller in fact had always been a favorite of Elizabeth, and would never allow another to beg favor for him, as Tobias ruefully knew first hand.

Fortner, sensing he was being toyed with, stiffened and turned his attention back to Beecher. “But you have not answered my question – have you yet seen your wife?”

“I have not, and of course she is no longer my wife, but Robert Rebadows.”

“Again the Queen surprises me by allowing a divorce.” Fortner looked down his nose on Beecher, as though even the mention of divorce was disdainful.

“She was most generous to Genevieve after realizing I was not returning.”

“It must pain you to know another man is raising your son.” Fortner leaned closer as though to impart a secret, though his voice remained loud enough for those gathered round to hear. “I have seen the boy, and I must say I see none of you in him. It is a cunning coincidence, though, that he has not your blue eyes, but the brown of his step-father.”

Tobias took a deep breath and struggled to keep his clenched hands at his sides. “If you see Lady Rebadow again, please give her my best.” He bowed stiffly and turned on his heels.

Keller smiled disarmingly at Fortner. “I pray to cross your path again soon, m’lord. You should pray that we are not alone when I do.”

There were some who held the same opinions as Fortner, if their sneering glances and whispers behind their hands were an indication. But they had the good grace, or fear of a confrontation with the three friends, especially Keller, to say nothing within hearing of any of the men.

But there were others, including a few good friends the men were pleased to be reunited with, who understood the lengths Keller had gone to in order to preserve his pride and dignity, and the measure of friendship demonstrated by Beecher in helping him.

Finally, the doors were open and the page called out – “Viscount Beecher, Sir Christopher Keller, Lord Ryan O’Reily of Ireland.”

The men entered the room to find the Queen seated upon a great chair on a raised dais, surrounded by the more noble courtiers who were permitted to attend to their Monarch. A lady-in-waiting sat to one side of Elizabeth, while William Cecil stood on the other. The Queen was dressed opulently, in a rose-colored gown, scattered with precious stones. Her sleeves had bands of seed pearls sewn above and below the elbow. Her collar was not large, but full and ruffled, and all was completed with the jeweled crown upon her head and likewise decorated scepter she held.

“Sir Keller, Lord Beecher, welcome home. And Lord O’Reily, do you feel lucky I did not send any of my soldiers quartered in Ireland to look for you?”

“Your Majesty, I do. And I thank you for the chance to travel between your provences with ease and without fear. I beg you forgive me for my part in any matter you consider untoward against the Crown.”

“I understand your brother has traveled with you.”

“Yes, Your Majesty.”

“And I have heard rumor that he is very skilled with training horses.”

Ryan smiled. “Yes, Your Majesty. He is quite skilled, so much so that some speak of witchcraft when they watch him. But it is only a gift of God, and perhaps jealousy moves those to speak as they do.”

“I should like to witness his talents while you are here.”

“Yes, Your Grace.”

Elizabeth gave a sleight wave of her scepter and O’Reily stepped back, relieved that his encounter was over.

The Queen then directed her gaze at Tobias.

“And Beecher. You are a long time away from your family. Do you not miss them?”

“Indeed, Your Grace. I am most grateful for the opportunity to return home and see them again.”

“And the matter with your wife – Genevieve, isn’t it? How does that stand?”

“From what information I have been able to gather, all is going well. I thank your Grace for granting her petition for divorce in accordance with the petition I sent to you. The divorce was granted after two years on grounds of abandonment. My estate in Cheltenham is being overseen by Genevieve and my father until...until my son is of age.”

“Now that you are home, does this arrangement still suit you?”

“It does, Your Grace. The estate and farm came to me through marriage, and it pleases me to see it passed on to the issue of that union.”

Christopher stood stoic during this conversation, but he longed to reach out a hand to comfort his friend. To stand here and talk of a son that was not his, but the product of his being a cuckold, was painful to him, Keller knew.

“And now, without your estate, what are your plans?”

Beecher risked a glance toward Keller. “If it pleases your Grace, Sir Keller and I will return to Italy and continue to expand our winery.”

Elizabeth’s nod to Beecher was not permission, but a dismissal, and Tobias stepped back with a bow.

The Queen’s attention then turned toward Christopher. “And this is your desire, Sir Keller, to leave our soil now that you are welcome back?”

“While I cannot express enough my gratitude at our leniency, and my pleasure at being back on British soil is beyond measure, I believe I would miss the life I have been living abroad.” Keller stepped forward and held out his hand, raising his eyebrows in silent permission. With a nod from the Queen, he knelt on the step in front of her and took her hand. “If Lord Beecher and I were to return to Italy, I assure you that the wine we produce will be done so in your name.” He smiled rakishly at his monarch and kissed her fingers. “And you would be sent a sample of our yield yearly. We have brought some for you to try now.”

The Queen narrowed her eyes, then relaxed with a laugh. “I look forward to trying it. And perhaps you would wish to save a bottle for Lord Shillinger.”

All three men in front of their Queen stiffened, and looked quickly at each other. “Shillinger, Your Grace?”

“He came to court several months ago, requesting that I consider a pardon for you all. He had been very bitter, as you can imagine, over your escape, and the events that followed, including the death of his man James Robson.”

Keller held his tongue, knowing that any argument he could offer that Shillinger had brought all his sorrows upon himself would not be welcome at this moment. The Queen would have her say and would not wish to be corrected.

“He expressed concern that this matter had gone on long enough, and that the guilt he felt over his part would not leave his mind nor soul in peace.”

Keller wondered if the Queen truly believed this, or if she knew that Shillinger’s remorse was in all likelihood only a farce to regain the good graces of his monarch.

“I wonder if I might express my gratitude to Lord Shillinger for this change of heart – is he staying in London?”

“The last we heard, he had returned to Paris.” The Queen pulled her hand from Keller’s, signaling her end to the conversation. Keller returned to his spot between Beecher and O’Reily and bowed low.

“I shall see you gentlemen at dinner tonight.” With that they were dismissed.

******* 

The rest of the afternoon was spent leisurely circulating throughout the palace, catching up with old friends and meeting new courtiers. Ryan and Cyril spent a good amount of time at the stables, examining the horses in anticipation for Cyril’s demonstration for Elizabeth the next day. 

At the pageant that evening, a great shell was fashioned, and when it opened there were several masked ladies revealed. They were called the sprites of love, and each wore a different color robe and mask, and in the quiver they all wore, the tips of their arrows matched in color to their disguises. They danced merrily and joyfully until half way through the dance they dropped their robes to reveal light and airy dresses, the material seeming to float around their bodies, showing their arms and legs and barely covered breasts. The music changed tone and the dancing turned seductive and soon each lady was pulling a man from the audience to dance with her.

Christopher and Tobias were chosen, and they enjoyed several minutes of dancing, though each was not sure of the new dance steps, and had to be helped by the maid who had chosen them.

Tobias apologized profusely as he stepped once again upon the silk-slippered foot of the young girl in his arms, but she only giggled and corrected him and he smiled in return.

During a lull in their movements, he looked over to see Christopher in a close embrace with his partner, his head bent to whisper in her ear, with on hand on the pale, bare skin of her neck, the other settled on her waist. When Christopher straightened up, the girl was blushing, but she stood on tiptoe and whispered something back, then turned away, covering her face with the feathered plume she held. Christopher laughed, took her hand and they continued on the their dance.

They begged off the next dance, and found a goblet of wine to help cool them.

“These clothes are insufferable,” Beecher muttered, pulling on his collar. “I envy Cyril.”

“Come with me.” Keller pulled on Beecher’s sleeve, tugging him toward a large tapestry hanging on the wall. He pulled on the end of it and slipped beneath; Beecher looked quickly around and followed. Behind the tapestry was a small door, which Christopher had pushed opened. The doorway lead to a short hall, then another door. This door opened onto a small, private patio, surrounded by trellises, covered in roses.

“Of course you would know all the secrets of the palace,” Tobias said, “and I am so grateful that you do.”

“There are many such hide-aways,” Christopher said, taking the goblet from Tobias and putting it on a small, gold-inlay table. “Perfect for secret meetings and assignations.”

“Is that your plan, then? I thought perhaps you were worried about my fainting on that overheated dance floor.”

Christopher cupped Beecher’s cheek. “Oh, I am. The only way I wish to see you become faint or heated is by my own doing.”

The stepped together for a kiss, long and hard, pushing and pulling against each other until their breath left them and they parted to regain it.

“I could not keep my eyes from you out there.” Christopher said, his eyes dark and searing.

“It seemed as though you could, especially when flirting with your young partner.”

“Flirting!” Christopher said, sounding shocked, which made Tobias shake his head at his lover. “I did only what was expected of a gentleman of the court. What about you? You were enjoying yourself, I believe.”

Beecher grinned. “Perhaps more than my partner. I am afraid her toes will be showing the bruises of my unfamiliarity of these new dances.”

“It is fun, though, is it not, Toby, being back at court?” Christopher drained his cup and smacked his lips.

Tobias nodded his agreement, though not quite as enthusiastically as Christopher sounded. “I admit, seeing everyone and experiencing such an evening is quite exciting. It has been a long time since we saw such a night.”

“My last time was at Christmas, here at Hampton Court, just a few months before my arrest.”

“And mine was when we were together at Windsor.

“I wonder how you got the nerve to tell me of your feelings – you were so nervous.” Tobias stroked Christopher’s cheek with the back of fingers, smiling kindly at him.

“Aye, very. Whether to keep you in my life as friend forever, or take the chance on losing you when I spoke the truth.” Christopher took Beecher’s hand in his and kissed the palm. “But I knew I could not continue on pretending that friendship would be enough.”

“And I will be forever glad for that.”

 

_It had been two days full of food, games, dancing and drink._

_Tobias was giddy with the freedom of being away from the responsibilities of home, and the somber mood of his marriage._

_His guilt over the relief he felt when Genevieve refused Keller’s invitation to be his guests at Elizabeth’s celebration of a fruitful harvest for the people had dissipated the moment he had been reunited with his best friend, and the two had been inseparable ever since._

_Even though it was late on the second day, the large game room was still crowded with men at the various tables of chance – cards and dice and ....and in the corner a group of the younger courtiers were gathered around another playing the lute, singing songs of passion and lust that would be deemed too vulgar for the ladies of the court._

_Tobias had long ago discarded his cap and collar, and now was lounging in a chair, sipping on ale, having given up wine as the heat in the smoky room was making him uncomfortable and sleepy. He looked around for Christopher and soon spied him, throwing dice at a table in the middle of the room. Just as he found his friend, Christopher looked up and caught Beecher’s gaze; he flashed a bright grin and motioned for him to join him._

_Tobias smiled to himself as he made his way over – for the last two days, every time he had looked for Christopher, it seemed as though Christy would look up and meet his gaze. And the other way as well – Tobias would turn his head while on the dance floor, or turn a bit while engaged in conversation with someone, and there would be Christopher, watching him, sometimes for his attention, other times simply to smile and nod._

_But this was really not so surprising, it had always been thus with the two of them, from the time they had first met. Even when parted from each other for months or even years, upon their reunion it felt as though it had only been days. Though of different temperament, and lifestyles that held little in common, they had a closeness that neither felt with anyone else._

_“I long for bed,” Tobias told Christopher as he reached his side. “Enjoy your dice, but watch your purse.”_

_“I’m done here,” Christopher said, gathering his coins and bidding the men around the table a good night._

_Tobias moved toward the door that led to the main hallway, but Christopher pulled his sleeve and led him toward an alcove in a less crowded part of the room. Inside the alcove, Christopher opened a narrow door, the handle of which had been hidden in the design of the floral wall pattern. Stepping through the doorway, they came into a hallway, through which a blessed cool breeze could be felt._

_“This leads to the gardens,” Christopher explained, moving down the hall. “We can reach our room from there and cool off before we try and sleep.”_

_“My savior,” Beecher groaned with relief, pulling open the collar of his jerkin._

_Once outside, they went slowly, admiring the fountains and topiary, awash in the moonlight._

_Along the way, Keller led Beecher a short distance inside a hedge maze and motioned to a bench set in an alcove. “I’m not yet ready for bed, let us talk a bit.”_

_Tobias agreed; once away from the heat and the noise of the game room, the night seemed too splendid to leave._

_They sat in comfortable silence, until Keller put his arm around Beecher’s shoulders. “We’ve not spoken of your wife since we have been here. Are things the same?”_

_Beecher sighed. “Unfortunately. I sometimes think of acquiring another home to spend my time.”_

_“Is it that bad?”_

_“We have nothing to keep us together.”_

_“I am sorry, my friend. I know you were once happy.”_

_Tobias shifted away to turn and looked at Christopher. “Content, at least.” He smiled ruefully. “I know you thought I should not marry her, but you have ever been patient and comforting with me.”_

_“I only wished to see you with someone who loved you as you deserve.”_

_Tobias chuckled darkly. “Love is a luxury for the lower class. Love and affection bow to title and money in our situation.”_

_Christopher opened his mouth as though to speak, but instead only nodded._

_“Except in our case, true?” Beecher laughed and clapped Christopher on the shoulder. “I have always been able to count on you.”_

_“And I you, my Toby.”_

_Christopher took Tobias’ hand from his shoulder and held it in both of his. The smile faded from Tobias’ face as he saw the serious look on his friend’s face. He looked down at their hands and when he looked up again the depth of feeling in Christopher’s eyes took his breath from him. He suddenly longed to pull free and run, but he was unable to, feeling as though he were in a dream, where flight was impossible._

_“Toby...”_

_“Christy, wait...”_

_“No.” Christopher shook his head. “I have waited far too long to say this.” Keeping one hand holding tightly to Beecher’s, with the other he lightly ran his fingertips over his friend’s cheek. Tobias felt a flush at the touch, and his stomach dropped._

_“I love you, Toby, I truly do. I have always loved you as friend and brother, this you know. But that love has grown and changed and while I have held my tongue for many years now, I can no longer.” Christopher stood up and turned his back, finishing his speech speaking to the hedgerow. “My heart is yours alone. I have no room for any other. When I see you, my hands long to touch you with a lover’s touch, and my lips find the taste of your cheek poor substitution for the sweetness of your lips._

_Tobias sat with mouth open and head spinning._

_“I know we can never be as a true couple, come together as lovers in the eyes of everyone, but we can meet as friends to the world, and as lovers only to each other.”_

_He turned and the fear and longing and love illuminated by the nearby torchlight tore at Beecher’s heart, though he still felt stunned as though Keller’s words were a blow to his head._

_“Tobias, please speak. I must know your thoughts.”_

_Beecher stood up, so quickly he almost lost his footing._

_“I...I cannot speak.” And he turned and ran._

_He spent that night sleeping in a stable, though actual sleep was long in coming and not easy. What Christy had said to him had on the surface shocked him, but was not a complete surprise. He and Christopher had been so close for so long, friendship seemed too small a word to describe it. But love? Between two men? He had known of Christopher’s sexual trysts with men and he still prayed often that the Lord would not punish his friend for his actions. But was love the same thing? Men often had sexual congress where love was nowhere to be found._

_But love was not an action taken, it was an emotion under its own control. Love was a good thing, though actions taken in its name were often not. Did that make sense? Would Christy’s love be acceptable if there was no action taken by the cause of it?_

_He realized with a start that he was actually thinking about how this might work, how the two of them could exist with a lover’s desire between them._

_But he did not think of Christopher like that; he was his brother, his best friend...that was all._

_He fell asleep as the sun was rising, Christopher’s look of desperation eating at heart. And his last thought, beyond reason but before dream, was that he wished to take his friend into his arms and kiss that look away._

*******

The next morning, the men were woken from a deep slumber by a knocking on the door. Beecher pulled himself from the weight of Keller’s leg over his, and answered the door as he was, hair tousled, eyes half shut, and nude.

The servant boy barely blinks at the sight, having become jaded quickly to the behavior of courtiers. He came into the room with a bucket of water and towels. “Most have already risen and are to the games, m’lord. There is bread and ale left in the great hall, if you hurry.”

Beecher thanked the boy and took the bucket and towels. He filled the water bowl sitting on the table at the end of the bed and splashed the water over his face and chest, gasping at the shock of cold. He scooped a cup into the bucket twice and drank his fill, realizing he would need to get food into his belly soon, before it rebelled.

He grabbed Keller’s ankle and shook it. “We’re late, the games are starting and we laze about.”

Keller groaned and rolled to his side, pulling his knees to his chest. Beecher’s gaze lingered on the magnificent ass on display, and thought about how perfectly his body would fit around his lover’s, but they needed to make an appearance at the games to show their gratitude to Elizabeth.

“Keller, now! My stomach needs bread and my head a quaff of ale to soothe it. Let’s hurry!”

After a moment of grumbling and pouting, Keller was on his feet, and both men dressed quickly.

As they made to leave, Keller grabbed Tobias and pulled him close, kissing him deeply. “You were amazing last night, my love. I wonder if heads would be turned if I was to cushion my saddle? Your enthusiasm has left me feeling you the rest of the day, I’m sure.”

“Then perhaps you will be more likely to not try and show off too much today.” Beecher ran his hand over Keller’s head. “There are many young men out there today, and I do not wish you to try and compete with them.”

“Shall I sit on the sideline with the women and old men and watch?”

Tobias smiled fondly at his lover. “No, but you should remember how long it has been since you participated in a joust.”

Keller scowled and opened the door. “Mayhap you would like to find a cane for me before I try the stairs.”

Tobias brushed past and squeezed Keller on the ass. “When you are old and gray I will fashion a beautiful cane for you. Until then, hurry.” 

****** 

The games were a great success, and Keller eased Beecher’s mind by participating in only two passes in the joust; the first was declared a draw when both men were knocked from their mounts, but in the second Keller succeeded in unseating his opponent. Beecher smiled to himself – there would be no living with the man after this.

They spent the rest of the day visiting and watching other events, though they stayed away from the boxing matches, a sport that brought back unpleasant memories.

They heard from many how an Irishman with a simple brain was amazing all by his ability to calm the wildest of horses. Men were leaving to go and bring back unruly horses they knew of. And according to a few, the older brother had earned a good sum of money, betting that no horse was too wild for his brother.

Christopher and Tobias laughed at this last news. “O’Reily will be buying the drinks for the rest of this trip,” Christopher said.

After several hours, they decided to go back to their room and rest before the feast and dance that was to be held that night. They called for a pitcher of water and also one of ale. After quenching their thirst, they stripped naked and wiped the sweat from each other with a cool cloth, with Tobias paying extra attention to Christopher’s ass.

“You are bruised here, love.” He poked at the offended body part, causing Christopher to yipe in protest.

“I did fall from a horse today, love.”

Tobias placed a gentle kiss on the darkening bruise, then deftly evaded Christopher’s arms as he turned and tried to put Toby’s lips on a more desirable body part.

“Sleep now, Christopher.”

 

At the great dinner that evening, the four friends were reunited, with Ryan eager to share the events of the day.

“Cyril was amazing, weren’t you, brother?” Ryan slung his arm around his younger brother, who looked exhausted but very happy.

“I saw lots of horses and people shook my hand and I met the Queen!” Cyril looked toward the front of the great hall, where Elizabeth was seated on a great throne, and waved enthusiastically at his monarch.

Ryan laughed and took Cyril’s hand. “I don’t think she can see us, but you will be seeing each other a great deal now, won’t you?”

Cyril nodded distractedly, his attention already on the great mound of food that had been placed in front of him.

“And what is this, then, about Cyril seeing the Queen?” Keller crowded into Beecher, who was sitting next to O’Reily.

“Elizabeth has offered Cyril a position here – actually, offered one to each of us.” The Irishman sat back to enjoy the look of astonishment on his friends’ faces.

“What is the position?”

“She wishes Cyril to train her horses, and she has taken me on to help find good animals for her stables. She said as long as they are strong and of good stock, their temperament won’t be such a factor with Cyril here to work with them.

“I’ll stay a few more days to discuss the matter, and to make sure Cyril is feeling comfortable and has people around him that will not take advantage of him. I’ll send a letter with you to explain things to Glory and then come along soon. I know she’ll be happy to stay here, and if your mother will allow, she can stay at Reddam for the time being.”

“Of course my mother will allow, I’m sure she is thrilled having Glory with her now,” Beecher said, “but what of you, Ryan? You visit England often, but Ireland is your home.”

“True, and I will miss it. But this is an opportunity not to be passed on, especially now.” Ryan smiled, a bit mischievously, and Keller prodded him to share what other news he was keeping.

“I had promised Glory I would not say anything until we were all together, but we have a very good reason for staying in England a while yet.” O’Reily stopped to take a drink and Beecher slammed his hand on the table in impatience.

“What is the reason?”

Ryan put down his mug and grinned anew. “Glory and I are to be parents soon.”

This news was met with great joy and much toasting to the new father, and uncle.

“Meeting up with Mary was fortune smiling on us. She will be a wonderful companion and nurse for Glory.”

“It seems all is going well for us,” Beecher said, smiling on his friends. “Now I need only to hurry on and see my family and I will be a very satisfied man.”

 

Beecher and Keller kept their evening short, watching the dancing instead of participating and enjoying only a few more drinks after parting company with the O’Reilys.

“We will say our good-byes now,” Beecher said, clapping Ryan on the back. “I warrant you will be up late and sleeping long past the rooster’s crow, while we should be leaving early.”

“I’ll leave my letter to Glory under your door.”

“Congratulations, again, to both of you,” Christopher grinned, wrapping an arm around each brother’s neck. “And hurry along as quickly as you can – it will be a joyous time at the Beecher household when you arrive.”

In bed just an hour later, Beecher pressed his arm into his mouth, stifling the loud moans he could not control as Christy fucked him. He was on his back, pulled to the edge of the bed while Christopher stood at the side, holding his legs and thrusting his cock hard and fast into his ass.

“God, Toby, Toby you feel so good…so sweet…ah…ah…”

As soon as Christopher reached his completion, he dropped to his knees. It took only a moment of his lips sliding over Toby's cock and then Toby was finding his own release, his fingers scratching through his lover's short hair as he pumped into the warm mouth sucking him dry.

“Ah, gods, Christy, have you made a deal with the devil to be so good at that?”

Christopher, slumped on the floor, kissed Beecher’s thigh. “It is you that brings out the devil in me, love. Every time I take you into my arms, my passion rekindles as though I were a boy just discovering my cock.”

“Words of a poet, my love.”

Keller groaned as he got to his feet. “I suppose we should start packing if we wish to leave early. I can call for a boy to help, if you wish.”

Beecher shook his head. “No, we can do it. But before then, come sit with me a moment.”

“What is it?” Keller asked, sitting next to Tobias.

“I’ve been thinking, perhaps I can go on alone while you stay with Ryan and Cyril.” He held up his hand to stop Christopher’s protestations. “I know you would enjoy being with them as they learn their duties and settle in. And this would also give you a few more nights to enjoy the festivities and games.”

“Without you they would be dull.”

Tobias rolled his eyes. “Do not try so hard to flatter me – I know you would not mind a day or two without my nagging.

“Also, this would give me some time alone with my family. You know my mother, she will have many questions about everything. Perhaps by the time you arrive, I will have them all answered and spare you the ordeal.” He took Christopher’s hand. “And spending a few days apart will not be the end of us. We are together more than most married couples.”

Christopher squeezed Tobias’ hand. “Most married couples do not have you to spend their days with. But I will agree to this proposal, I would like to follow O'Reily about as he learns his new duties.”

“Good. Now, help me with my bags.”

After Beecher had a small bag ready to go with him – Keller would bring the rest of his belongings on their pack mule – they lay in bed, arms entwined, and their talk returned to their last time at court.

“You were so confident,” Tobias said, stroking Keller’s arm, “that I was going to admit I loved you after your confession to me. You had been so nervous the night before, I didn’t know quite what to think the next day when you all but demanded I return your affection.”

Christopher laughed. “I told you, I had decided there could be no other conclusion.”

 ***********

_The next morning, Beecher woke from a short and restless sleep and staggered from the barn. He wasn’t sure in which direction to go. If we went back to their room and Christopher was still there, what would he say? And if he wasn’t, then what? Should he pack his things and leave? But he could not do that to his friend, they had to resolve this issue lest it ruin their friendship._

_The decision was taken from him when Keller came walking across the yard with two other men Beecher did not know._

_“Tobias!” Keller waved, and after speaking briefly to his companions, hurried over. “I was worried that you might have left me.” He hugged Tobias tightly. “But I knew you would not do such a thing to me.”_

_Beecher looked at Keller in amazement. “You seem…happier this morning. When I left you last night…”_

_“Yes, I was unsure if I had done the right thing in telling you of my feelings. But of course, I did. I had to tell you of my love for you so that you could realize you feel the same way about me.” Christopher grinned, that charming, rakish grin that he had, the one that said that he knew no matter what he said or did, he would be forgiven._

_“I…I…don’t…Christy, you know my love as a friend and brother is limitless and forever, but what you ask…”_

_“I ask nothing, Toby, nothing that you cannot give.” Christopher’s expression turned serious, and he guided Beecher into the shadow of the barn. “It has been years that I’ve known my love for you is more than for a brother. Years that I’ve kept quiet and been at peace with what we have. But we are growing older, Toby, and I have found no one who captures my heart like you have. And you are in a loveless marriage. I want us to have some happiness and real love in our lives, and I know you want the same thing.”_

_“But, Christy, I do not feel –”_

_Christopher cut him off. “You are here for two more days. I will not ask for declarations of love or an intent to leave your wife. I ask only for a kiss, a true kiss, that will tell me you know I speak true when I say we are for each other.”_

_Tobias stood in stunned silence as Keller said his good-byes and went off join his companions in a morning ride._

_The rest of the day was spent in a whirlwind, both of body and mind. He was kept busy, gaming and dining and dancing, and at every turn there was Keller, smiling at him in a way that had Tobias blushing and sending his heart pounding._

_He had realized that his love for Christopher went deeper than that of most friends, but to go as far as lovers? That was a sin so great he felt damned for even considering it. But he also knew that he was never happier, or more at ease with himself, that when he was with Christy._

_That evening, back in the barn, he lay awake a long while, studying his feelings. As he finally began to feel sleep come to him, he slid his trousers down and found his cock. He stroked himself and made himself imagine it was Christy; the thought was not unpleasant. He thought back to a day long ago when he and Keller had visited a whore house and while his cock was being adequately sucked, he had looked over to the next bed, where Christopher had his whore on her hands and knees and was fucking her vigorously from behind. Tobias had found his gaze drawn to Christopher’s cock, mesmerized as it slid in and out of the soft globes of flesh surrounding it. When he looked back up, Christopher was watching him in return, grinning. With a wink, he had reached beneath the girl and squeezed her breasts and thrust even harder into her, and with that Toby had come with a shout, his release ripping through him sharp and unexpected._

_And now, with that memory, Beecher’s cock surged and spilled over his hand, the hot seed burning his flesh as though a promise of what would await him if anything came of this sinful thinking._

_The next day, Tobias did not see Keller until into the afternoon. He tried to tell himself he did not care, but he could not deny looking over his shoulder or checking a doorway every time someone came through._

_He was outside, watching a troupe of acrobats balancing each other on their shoulders and heads as they spun plates upon long sticks. Suddenly, a hand was on his waist and another on his shoulder. “You are charming, standing here. You should see all the young ladies behind you, twittering into their fans and daring each other to take a step closer.”_

_Tobias was dismayed as the feel of Keller’s touch and the warmth of words on his neck caused a shudder to go through him._

_“Toby, does the attention of the women behind you cause such a reaction?” Keller leaned in closer until his lips touched Beecher’s ear. “Or is it me?”_

_Beecher jerked away, looking around as though the other onlookers could know what they were about._

_He gained his composure and turned his attention back to the performance, speaking quietly. “You have been close to me many times, why would you think today is any different?”_

_“Because today you have the freedom to express your true feelings.” Keller took Beecher’s hand and squeezed it briefly. “I could make your body do many other things than just shudder at my touch.” And then he was gone._

_Beecher stood for several minutes, watching the show but not seeing it. All he could think of was what Keller had said, and then he began thinking of the reputation Keller had as a lover. He remembered last night and suddenly it seemed as though every time he had seen Christopher naked came to mind. He had always admired the man’s amazing body, and many had often commented on the round and firm ass Keller possessed. He was horrified to find himself growing hard and was glad he had chosen to wear a codpiece today. Fortunately he was distracted from his discomfort of mind and body when friends of his parents approached him, and talked to him for several minutes._

_That evening, he and Christopher dined together in the large hall, and Christopher behaved as though nothing had ever happened. He discussed the events of the day and asked Tobias about his._

_Tobias did not know what to think of this turn of behavior, but he did not question it and played along as the ever loyal friend._

_When they had finished their meal, they moved to another room, where men were having drinks and women were flirting. As they stood talking, two women approached and introduced themselves as sisters, come to court with their brother, who had abandoned them to spend time with his friends._

_“And now we are left to fend for ourselves. Perhaps you would like to walk us through the gardens?”_

_Keller looked at Beecher and shrugged, and offered his arm to one of the ladies. Beecher followed suit – whether the women were telling the truth or were whores, trying to get them alone, they would soon find out._

_This was something that had happened before, the men being approached as they stood talking together. But this time Tobias realized he resented the intrusion, which made him sour and churlish. Even though he was married, he had never been above appreciating the attentions of a beautiful woman. But now he only wanted them gone, and to be alone with Keller, to try and understand his feelings and find out in what was happening with them._

_When they stopped in the garden to admire the statuary, the girls made sure there was some distance between each pair. The lady with Tobias did her best at flirting and complimenting him, but he could not help but look over at Keller and the woman using her wiles on him._

_He bristled when Christopher lifted a stray curl from the lady’s breast and lay it behind her shoulder, leaning in close to whisper in her ear, just as he had done to Tobias just hours ago._

_“A moment, my lady, I beg of you.”_

_The woman stuttered her surprised permission and Tobias strode to Keller, taking him by the arm._

_“Your pardon, my lady, but I must speak with Sir Keller.”_

_“Beecher, this is quite rude.” But Tobias could see the flicker of a smile on Keller’s lips as he apologized to his companion and allowed Tobias to pull him away behind a tall hedge._

_“I know what you are doing, Keller,” Beecher seethed, pushing the knight up against a wall that provided privacy from most of the gardens._

_To his credit, Keller did not play innocent, but smirked at Tobias as he replied – “And it seems to be working.”_

_“I am going to have to leave, Christopher.” Tobias suddenly felt that was the only answer. He would have to put time and distance between the two of them and hope that Christopher would be able to forget this time at Windsor ever happened._

_When he explained this to his friend, Keller’s face seemed to drain of life. “No.”_

_“No? Yes, I am leaving in the morning as planned and we will keep apart until we have come to reason in this matter.”_

_“We?” Keller looked hopeful. “Then you admit you feel as I do.”_

_“No, that is not what I mean.” But Beecher could not utter the words with any kind of conviction and he balled his fists in frustration._

_“It is for you to decide, Toby.” Christopher looked at Tobias with affection and something akin to pity. “I have told you, I have felt this way for years. There is no possibility that my feelings will ever change. You are my life, you are all I want.” He took Toby’s hand and stroked his cheek. “When we part tomorrow, we will only come together again as lovers. That is all I can accept.”_

_Tobias felt panicked – he could not imagine a life without Christy. “Do not do this to me,” he pleaded, “I need you as my friend.”_

_Christopher’s eyes watered as he shook his head. “I cannot be only friend.”_

_Tobias pulled free from Christopher. He could feel his heart pounding in his chest and hear it in his head, and he suddenly realized that no one had ever made him feel this way – this much – before, and he was sure no one ever would._

_He took a deep breath and whispered, “Christy,” and then his arms were around his friend and he could feel him tremble as he held him in return. Time seemed to stop as he realized that Christopher would not move – he was waiting for Toby._

_Beecher’s eyes searched Christopher’s face and the love he found there made all other thoughts leave his mind. With a deep breath, Tobias leaned in and pressed his mouth to Christopher’s. They stayed that way as long as they could, holding each other tightly, while the kiss remained soft and gentle._

_When they finally parted, Beecher’s heart clenched at the sight of the tear sliding down Christopher’s cheek. He wiped it off and kissed the salty skin._

_Christopher’s face lit with a joy that took Tobias’ breath away, knowing it was his kiss that put such happiness there._

_Christopher cupped Tobias’ head and leaned forward until their foreheads touched. “You are my world, my Toby.”_

_“And you are mine, my Christy, I know that now.”_

_**********_

“And then you left the next morning,” Christopher said, dropping a quick kiss to Tobias’ chest, “and we were not together again until I was prisoner in the Tower.”

“But now we are here, and free and our lives are good.” Beecher propped himself up on one elbow as he thought of something. “We never did go back to those women that night. I wonder how badly they though of us.”

Christopher chuckle. “Very. I wore a small, red handprint on my cheek the next day when they found me.”

Beecher leaned over and kissed each cheek of his lover. “I am so sorry you were left alone to face their wrath.”

“Really? Then show me. If we are to be parted, I must feel you inside me once more.”

**********

The next morning, Tobias left on his own, with Christopher’s promise to see him in just a few days.

**********

It took several minutes for Beecher to fully open his eyes. Any movement, even that of his eyelids, caused his throbbing head to spike with pain.

He was chained, hand and foot, stripped to his linen chausses and shirtless, his body chilled in the cool air of the small plain room he found himself in.

The only light came from a small window, high on the wall across from him. There was an old table and unsafe looking chair. The only other furnishing in the room was thin straw mattress, covered by a dirty blanket, on which he lay. He could move enough to sit himself halfway, leaning against the wall, but there was not reach on the chains holding him.

He knew he was being held by Shillinger.

He looked at the window, judging it was growing late in the day, which meant he had been there a few hours, at least. He supposed there was no point in calling for help – he would not be left where there was any help coming.

A creaking of old hinges took his attention from the window – he looked toward the door and there was his captor.

“Good evening, Lord Beecher. How is your head?”

Beecher remained silent, loathing the smirk on Shillinger’s face.

“Oh, please, after all this time, will you refuse me the pleasure of your conversation? You were so entertaining during our evenings together at Warwick.”

Beecher could not resist a grimace at the mention of those nights, when he had been forced to spend time with Shillinger to ensure Christopher remained in their room, free from the small, dank dungeon where Tobias had found him.

“I see the time spent with me is still remembered.” Shillinger moved closer and stood with his hands on his hips, looking down at Beecher. “And now we can create new memories together.”

The count’s grin split his face; Beecher thought how pleasant he would appear to people who were not aware of the evil behind the smile.

“We knew your plea to Elizabeth was insincere,” Beecher said, his voice low and rough with his need for water.

“It was a fine bit of acting, I admit, in convincing Elizabeth of my desire to put our animosity behind us.”

“How did you know?”

“That you were here? There are many young men employed for small means in the Queen’s court, more than eager to earn an extra coin in exchange for information.”

Beecher couldn’t help flinching when the other man knelt beside him.

Shillinger laughed. “No need to be so skittish, Tobias, at least not yet.” He pulled a flask from his jacket.

Beecher hated to accept anything from Shillinger, but he could not refuse the water offered. When his throat and tongue were soothed, Tobias glared at the Count. “It will not bring your son back to kill me.”

Shillinger’s face darkened. “No, but it would help me to know that Keller feels a loss like I do.”

“You took Barlog from him, and he was innocent.”

“Hah! Not so innocent. He sucked my cock like a highly paid whore.” Shillinger sneered. “But that is exactly what he was, isn’t it?”

Without warning, Shilling slapped Beecher’s face, then again. He stood, and before Tobias could recover from the shock, he kicked him in the thigh. Tobias could not help howling as the pain shot through his leg and his muscles cramped. He twisted his body as much as the restraints allowed trying to ease his discomfort. When he could finally relax, he saw that Shillinger had left.

**********

Christopher spent a full and busy day with the O’Reily brothers. They met with the stable hands and the Master of the Horses, making sure that everyone understood Cyril’s condition. Cyril would be with Ryan most of the time, but on occasion he would be left at court without him. Keller and the elder O’Reily assured everyone that they would soon regret any discomfort brought on to Cyril in Ryan’s absent.

It was determined that Ryan would find a home somewhere between London and Reddam, so that Glory could be equally close to the Beecher family, and to Ryan when he had to be at court.

That evening, after Cyril had been seen to bed, Ryan and Christopher spent the night in celebration. They decided to leave Hampton, and spend time in the pubs of London, away from the pomp of the courtiers. They left behind their court dress and spent the next several hours among the working class of the people as they used to when they were young.

As they made their way home, the sky turning from black to gray, Keller hoped that Beecher had spent the night as pleasantly, in the company of his loving family.

**********

Shillinger did not return the whole night, and Tobias lay shivering and wanting for food and drink. He wondered what Christy was doing, and if he would ever see him again. As the room began to turn gray from the dawn, the door opened again and Tobias braced for what was next.

After Shillinger had taken him outside to relief himself, his hands tied tight behind his back, he gave him some water and a hard biscuit.

There was no conversation to speak of until he was chained again, but this time standing against the wall.

“How long do you plan to keep me? How long until my death?”

“Are you so sure I plan to kill you, Toby?”

Beecher tensed at Christopher’s nickname for him being used, but he kept his displeasure to himself. “Why else have you brought me here?”

“As I told you, I enjoyed our time together at Warwick so much, I thought to relive those nights.”

“You are addled,” Beecher spat.

“Not so much as that Irish whelp. I wonder that you all keep him around. Or does he service his brother when a slut cannot be found for him?”

“You are vile.”

“These insults are not what I was hoping for to pass our time – you were much quicker with a witty retort and thoughtful phrase when we passed the time before.”

Beecher remained silent until an unexpected blow to his stomach him to call out. "God's teeth! Bastard!"

“Again, not the witty banter of before, but I suppose it will have to do.”

Tobias looked at Shillinger, and the glee he saw on the man’s face made his blood run cold. He closed his eyes just before the Count’s fist found one of them.

Shillinger beat him without mercy, shutting the eye and swelling his nose, swearing at him all the while, telling him he was getting just what he deserved. He released Beecher’s hands, letting him drop to the ground where he kicked him several times. Tobias curled in on himself as much as he could, but he feared something was broken inside before the attack stopped. He didn’t move, afraid Shillinger would start again, until he heard the door close.

Struggling for breath, he pushed himself up, realizing that his hands were still free. He tried to pull his legs up to his chest, to reach the shackles on his ankles, but the pain of even that simple movement caused his head to swim and he fell back, grateful when his world went black.

********** 

Keller and the O’Reilys spent the day much as before, going over what would be expected of the brothers and being shown to a much better room than that they had been staying in.

“You are living the high life now, O’Reily. Who would have thought you would be here, with your own residence in the palace of the ruler of Britain?”

“And that you would be gentleman farmer, living in Italy? We have done well for ourselves, indeed. Now, shall we have a drink before the evening meal and then decide how to pass the night?”

“The drink I will accept,” Keller answered, “and dinner, but after that I will say my good-nights.”

“What?” Ryan clapped Keller on the back. “Did Beecher not leave you here to indulge in the merriment of court?”

Keller smiled ruefully. “He did, but I do not feel too merry. In fact, I’m feeling ill at ease. I don't know what it is, but I believe I will leave in the morning. I’ve already let a stable hand know to have my horse ready at first light.”

“Well, then, I will not argue, though I will miss your company. Let me write another quick letter to Glory for you to pass on.”

********** 

Tobias was woken from an uneasy sleep by Shillinger entering the room, bearing an oil lamp which he placed carefully on the table. Tobias saw his arms had been chained again and he tensed as he prepared himself for another beating. But Shillinger perched precariously on the old chair to talk.

“You are in luck, Tobias. I have just received word that Keller will be leaving in the morning for Reddam. I thought we would have a few more days together, but I have truly enjoyed the time we have had.

“I wonder at Keller’s early departure – perhaps it is that he can find no other mouth that sucks his cock as well as you do? Do you ever fuck him? I can still recall how tight his virgin ass was that night on the battlefield. I had to shove a blanket into his mouth to stop his moans of pleasure as I slid my cock between those glorious mounds of flesh. His naked ass is a treasure from God, is it not?”

Beecher’s jaw was clenched, his breath pushing hard through his teeth as he could not breath through his swollen nose. He glared at Shillinger through his one good eye, and his only thought was to get his hands around the man’s neck and squeeze.

“It doesn’t seem fair, though, does it, that I know the taste of that sweet ass, yet not yours? Would it not make things more fair between the two of you if that were so?”

Beecher shook his head, not minding the sick feeling he got from the pain surging through his body at the motion. “He would kill you,” Beecher said through his swollen lips. “You know he would.”

“Probably. But not if he doesn’t know.” Shillinger walked over to the mattress and leaned down, pressing his hand flat against the front of Beecher’s chausses, pressing on his cock. Tobias twisted away as much as he could, but Shillinger’s hand followed until he pulled away. “I propose that you will not tell him what went on here for the very reason that he would kill me. If that happened, my son Andrew would have his revenge and go after Keller and kill him. And then what? Would you, or that cur O’Reily, avenge Keller’s death and kill my son?”

Beecher hated it, but he listened to Shillinger’s words – he had no way of knowing if Andrew truly would go after Keller, but even if not, that would be another crime against his love. Elizabeth would not be so forgiving this time if Christopher was caught. He watched with quiet horror as Shillinger began undressing, taking off his jacket then unlacing his hose and removing the codpiece and pushing down his chausses until he could pull his cock from its confines.

“No.” Beecher could only whisper. “No, no.”

“You are not too far from the main road, Beecher. If you are able to walk fast enough through these woods and gain the road, perhaps Keller will find you there on his way from London. And then it will be up to you to decide what to do. I will be gone and back in France with my son before anyone will know what happened. You can let it all end here, or you can tell Keller what happened and continue with this game we play.”

The Count stood over Beecher, stroking his cock and grinning. “My suggestion to you is that you say you do not know who kidnapped you. Mayhap it was someone looking for ransom, who was too scared to follow through. Or maybe it was just a crazed peasant, imagining you an enemy.”

Shillinger stepped across Beecher’s body and then knelt, his rigid cock only inches from Tobias’ mouth. Beecher reacted violently, jerking on his chains with his arms and legs and trying desperately to throw Shillinger off of him, until the pain from his injuries became too much. He stopped his struggles and lay panting heavily, his face averted as much as possible.

Shillinger curled his fists into Beecher’s head and pulled him forward – the chained man could not help but moan his distress. But though Shillinger’s cock pressed against Beecher’s lips, his next action was to smack Beecher’s head back against the brick wall.

Toby’s vision swam, and as the pain flowed through his body his gorge rose, causing him to swallow deeply and gasp for breath.

Shillinger unchained his left arm and leg and flipped him onto stomach. Tobias knew he had to fight, he could not let this happen, but it was as though everything was happening through a thick haze, rendering him unable to move.

“I’m so glad you are not completely sensless,” Shillinger said as he dug his fingers into Beecher’s thighs and spread them. “You and Keller will have something to talk about now.”

Tobias moaned and tried to put himself somewhere else as Shillinger fucked him, but his muddled brain would not let him. He swam in and out of consciousness, unable to completely black out as the intense pain held him there.

“If I were Keller,” Shillinger gasped, “I would never let you dress. I would keep you locked away and have you at every opportunity. God’s teeth, such a fuckable hole.”

Shillinger pulled Beecher’s hair back by his hair, causing Tobias to hiss in pain. “Keller must love this hair, *Toby*.” Shillinger’s breath was hot against his cheek and he felt his stomach churn. “Does he wrap his hands in it like this and pretend you are a woman? I know he has a wide-flung reputation for bedding the fairer sex. Perhaps with you he does not miss them, only looks to your sweet temper and fair good looks to remind him of what he no longer has.”

Shillinger dropped Beecher’s head and began to quicken his pace, gasping out his words. “God’s blood, you are sweet. Do you think Keller will think you as sweet when he finds out his sworn enemy has known his wife, *Toby*?”

Tobias prayed he might pass out; or even death would be better than Shillinger’s relentless pounding of his body. His ribs scraped with every thrust and the bruises on his body were deepened as he was pushed into the thin, straw mattress, and his insides felt on fire. But through it all, the worst of it was hearing Christopher’s name for him on Shillinger’s lips. Every time the bastard uttered the name “Toby” Beecher had to fight from weeping.

“Ah, God’s teeth, Toby, I am near my end.” Shillinger’s thrusts grew even harder and Tobias could not help a moan, then grunted in relief when Shillinger collapsed on top of him. “Now I have had Keller and both his whores.” Tobias clenched his teeth to keep from yelling when Shillinger pulled free from him.

“I think perhaps that makes all good between us, don’t you?”

Tobias turned to look up at Shillinger with his good eye. “You are insane, you fuck.”

Shillinger laughed as he straightened himself up. “I believe it is you who are the fuck.” He leaned down and grabbed Beecher by the hair again, pulling his head up. The last thing Tobias saw was Shillinger’s laughing face – he did not see the fist coming toward him.

**********

The hour was late when Keller rode into the courtyard of the Beecher home, having had a late start when several men invited him to break the fast with him. When he asked the young boy who took his horse if the family was still about, the boy nodded, looking sorrowful.

“They are, Sir, worried about Lord Tobias. He was found hurt on the road.”

“Hurt?” He grabbed the boy. “How?”

“I’m not sure, Sir, I beg your pardon.”

Keller ran into the house, finding Lord and Lady Beecher in the main hall, sitting at the table with hot tea in front of them.

“Christopher!” They both went to the knight, Lord Beecher taking him by the hand while the Lady hugged him tight.

“Where is he? What happened?”

“He is resting upstairs.” Beecher told him. “He was found on the main road, halfway between here and the London road. He has been beaten badly, but Glory assures us that he will be all right. He mentioned something about ransom, but that is all.”

Keller kissed Lady Beecher. “It is a joy to be in your home once more, but I must go to him.”

“Of course.”

Keller ran the stairs and down the hall to Beecher’s room. Glory and a serving girl were there at the bed, wrapping a swath of material around Tobias’ chest. Christopher hurried to them, choking back a cry as he looked down on the battered body of his lover, lying so still. One eye was swollen, black and purple, and his nose was the same. His left cheek was mottled red and was split just beneath his eye.

“Christopher, you are just in time – come help us. I need you to hold him on his side while I examine the back of his head – carefully, his side is badly bruised.”

Christopher could see of what she spoke – a bloom of bruising came out from beneath the bandage wrapped around Toby’s body.

“Is he senseless, then?” Keller practically whispered, scared of the answer. “Beecher said he was speaking earlier.”

“I gave him something to relax him. It is perhaps not the best thing to do, considering his head injury, but he was in a great deal of pain.” She finished applying a poultice to the lump on his head. “I reset his nose, and he is very bruised, but I do not think anything else is broken, thank our Lord.”

Just as they lay him back, Keller noticed several small, light bruises on the back of Toby’s thighs. A shadow of thought came to his mind, but he pushed it away as the sight of the larger, darker bruise on his outer thigh caught his attention, causing him to swear beneath his breath.

His rage deepened even more when he saw the bands of red flesh on Beecher’s ankles and wrists, evidence of him being held in shackles.

They sent the girl out, and Keller turned on Glory. “Is he really to be all right? What has he said?”

“Not very much – he was exhausted and suffering from lack of food and water. A long stretch of sleep should help him much.”

They sat on the couch and tried speaking of ordinary things – while Glory told of her new life in Ireland, Christopher did his best to listen, but whenever he looked to the bed, his mind broke off from everything but his concern.

“Christopher.” Glory lay her hand his arm; he turned toward her. “He really will be all right.”

“I should have been with him.” His voice broke and he was in Glory’s arms, weeping on her shoulder as she soothed and comforted him.

He soon sat up, wiping his sleeve across his face. “I apologize.”

“For what? Worrying about someone you love?”

“You love him, as well, and yet you sit strong.”

Glory smiled. “I had my moment of tears, and you have had yours. Now we stay strong together for Tobias and help him through this.”

“What luck for him to have you come into his life like you did, and be such the sweet and wise sister he did not have before.”

“And how fortunate was he to meet you?” Glory wrapped her arms around one of Keller’s and lay her head on his shoulder. “I remember when he came home from school for a break, telling us about the new boy there, so smart and confident and good-looking.” She sat up to look at Christopher, squeezing his arm. “And he was telling the truth, as we soon discovered.”

“I felt at home, from the first time he brought me here.”

“He loved you, you know, as far back as that. Maybe not in the way he does now, or maybe he just could not admit it, but he has always loved you.”

Christopher gently pulled his arm free and stood at the bedside, looking down on Tobias. “And I him. He has always been my best friend.”

Glory checked on Tobias once more, and let Keller escort her to her room, with the promise that he would come for her if need be.

When he returned to the room Henry Beecher was there, watching his son.

“Lord Beecher.” Christopher gave a small bow.

The master of the house turned. “I have told you to call me Henry, son.”

“You have. It has been a while since I’ve had the pleasure in addressing you.”

Henry motioned to the couch while he sat heavily in one of the chairs.

“I hope all has been well with you over these last few years, sir. I know Tobias wishes we could have written more, but we did not want to draw attention by having you receive mail from us.”

“Of course, we understand. It has been a blessing to my lady, and myself, of course, that Elizabeth has realized you were treated wrongly.”

“Sir, can you tell me anything else about Tobias? He mentioned ransom, but was that all? Is there no idea who did this or where he was kept?”

“I am sending men out at first light. We don’t think he could have been kept far from where he was found – there was dirt on his hands and knees, so it looks like he crawled for a time.”

Keller swore and swallowed hard at the thought of Tobias being in such a state.

“You should try and sleep, Christopher, you are looking exhausted.”

“I will try, but I will stay here, if you please.”

“Of course.” The men stood and shook hands. “It does please me and his mother to know you are watching out for our son.”

Keller sat in the chair vacated by Beecher and pulled off his boots. Resting his feet on the side of the bed, he leaned back in the comfortable chair and watched the slow rise and fall of Toby’s chest and Glory’s words led his thoughts back to their school days.

Cyril had been quiet, speaking only when he had something of import to say. But he was quick with a joke, and smiled often. He spent a lot of time with Beecher in their studies, but he was always ready for a ride with Keller – even then he loved the horses.

Keller and Ryan were more alike, the two most likely to sneak out at night and visit the pubs, drinking and trying to convince the serving girls to meet them in the alley after their shifts, though Cyril and Toby often joined them.

But it was always Tobias that Christopher would look for when coming in from somewhere. They sat together for every meal, and prayed together at church service. When the nights would grow cold, the two would share a bed, huddled together talking late into the night, often about politics, on which they mostly agreed, and religion, on which they often disagreed. Keller’s father had traveled the world and had very disparate opinions on religion, which he had passed to his son. Christopher didn’t really think about religion much one way or the other, but he did delight in making blasphemous remarks, causing the other boy to instantly cross himself and pray for Keller’s soul.

He fell asleep thinking of the first time he had gone home with Tobias.

_***********_

_You should come home with me.”_

_“Really? Will your parents care?”_

_The two had just said their farewells to the O’Reily brothers, who were spending the Christmas break on their cousins’ estate, just outside of London. Christopher’s father was in Normandy, visiting with friends for the holidays. Christopher was welcome to join him, but he was not sure if he felt like taking the trip._

_“My parents would welcome such a good friend as you have become. It will be fun. We’ll share my room and we can sneak out and go play cards with the stable hands.”_

_“I would like to come, Tobias. I’ll hurry and pack.”_

_As Christopher gathered his belongings, he was grinning. He was so pleased that Tobias had asked him home for the season. He and the young Viscount had become very close in the last year and he knew he would miss him a great deal if they had to part._

_On the road, they did not talk much, bundled up against the frigid December air as they were. But as the sun began to warm them, talk turned to a variety of subjects. At one point, Tobias said, “I’ve been thinking about giving you a nickname.”_

_“What for?” Keller asked, amused._

_“Well, our names are so long – Chris-to-pher, To-bi-as. It is much easier to call Ryan or Cyril or James.”_

_“Our proper names are shorter.”_

_“And more formal.” Beecher shifted in his saddle to look more fuller on Christopher. “What about ‘Chris’ for you?”_

_Keller shook his head. “No, I do not care for it – it’s too common, or something.”_

_Tobias nodded. “Then, what about Christy?”_

_Keller considered it. “I would agree to that, if you would agree to Toby for you.”_

_Beecher smiled. “All right.”_

_Keller continued. “But only between you and me.”_

_“What do you mean?”_

_“No one else calls us those names, they are only for us to use.”_

_Beecher laughed. “Like a secret? All right, I agree. You are my Christy and I am your Toby.”_

_Keller grinned and turned his attention back to the road. But he felt a little odd, and it seemed the cold did not bother him any longer. He kept thinking on those words that Tobias had said – “You are my Christy and I am your Toby.” As though they belonged to each other. A flush of warmth went through him at the thought, and he hurried his horse along, eager to see the place where his friend had grown up._

_***********_

“Christy. Christy.” In his dream, Beecher was calling to him to wait, but soon the cold, winter road vanished and Keller sat up with a start. Toby was awake, calling to him as he struggled to sit up.

Christopher was instantly at his side, pushing cushions and blankets under his head and shoulders. “Toby, are you all right? Shall I call for someone?”

Tobias started to shake his head, stopping suddenly, and Christopher could see what little color he had drain from his face.

“What is it, love? Are you hurting?”

“My head…” He reached behind him, wincing when his fingers found the lump.

“Do you want a drink?”

“Water, please.”

Christopher got a cup of water and sat on the edge of the bed, holding it for the injured man.

“Toby, tell me, who did this? What happened to you?”

“I was held and beaten, that is all I know.” Beecher gingerly touched his face, feeling his swollen nose and eye, and pressing lightly on the bruises and cuts on his face. “Do I look horrible?" His words were thick and slurred, speaking through swollen lips. "How is my mother, is she distressed to look upon me?”

“Yes, you look horrible, like a man who has been ill-used. And your poor mother is strong enough, though we would all like to cause distress to the men who did this to you.”

“Christy, please, there is no use in this. I’ve already talked to my father and to Glory. I never saw them and I don’t know where I was. It was a failed attempt at ransom, and now it is done.”

But Tobias did not look at him as he said this, instead looked down at his hands, rubbing back and forth over the marks left from his shackles.

Christopher took one of his hands and encircled his wrist. “You have the same on your ankles, just as I do.”

“But mine will go away, and yours will not. I would like for it all to go away, and it will if we will let it.”

“You know I cannot. And neither will your father. He sends men out as soon as it is light.”

“For what purpose?” He looked at Keller, his expression almost desperate, his words a plea. “There is no one or nothing to find! ” He fell back, exhausted, and Keller pressed a kiss to his temple.

“Do not stress, love. All I want is for you to feel better, that is the only thing that matters.”

But after Tobias fell back to sleep, he went back to the hallway and instructed the boy waiting out there to make sure that he was woken in time to leave with Lord Beecher’s men in the morning.

**********

They discovered the house, though it was further from the spot where Tobias was found than Keller had imagined; he grew distressed to think of Toby traveling so far in the condition he was in. When he went into the room where Toby had been kept, and saw the rough pile of straw and rags that had been his bed, and the four chains set into the wall and floor, he had to leave quickly lest he show his emotions in front of Lord Beecher’s men.

When he returned that night, he was pleased to find Tobias sitting up, obviously feeling much better.

“You are much improved today, I think.”

“Did you find anything useful?” Beecher asked, and by his stilted tone, Keller knew he was unhappy with him.

“No, only the pile of rags and shackles in the room in which you were kept.”

“So your day was spent in futility, while I waited here alone for your return.”

Christopher sat in the chair next to the bed and began struggling with removing his boots. “It was not a futile journey – I needed to see for myself there was nothing to tell us your captors identity.”

“And so now you can let it rest.”

“Why are you so eager to not see justice done?” Pulling off his boot, Christopher threw it to the side in exasperation.

“I am not against justice, I am against spending time on a quest that cannot be completed. They were just robbers – the woods there are full of them.”

Having shed his boots, Keller stood and unlaced his sleeves and removed his shirt. He paused as he moved to his hose, looking at Beecher’s battered face and body.

“Why would they beat you?”

“What?” Tobias looked stunned by the question, before looking away.

“If they were only to hold you for ransom, why beat you?”

“I…I would not know their minds,” he said. “Perhaps they were mad.”

“Perhaps.”

But that only made Christopher think more on the subject, though he did not say as much to Toby. When Tobias rode, he dressed simply and plainly, and did not look like a man of wealth. Would anyone seeing him ride by think him to be of money?

He let the matter go from his thoughts while he finished undressing. A tub was brought up for him and he bathed quickly, then ate the meal that had been left for him. Tobias had already eaten, a bowl of soup and a mug of strong ale – his face was too sore for any food of substance.

After Glory had come by, and then Toby’s parents, Christopher shed the robe had been wearing and stood in his nightshirt at the foot of the bed.

“Today, I was reminded of our time at Warwick, and what a comfort you were to me. Would you welcome my company in your bed? It did much for me to feel your arms about me when I was so sick and hurt.”

“Of course, Christopher.” But Tobias’ answer seemed forced, and when Christopher came to the bed, he had moved as far to the edge as he could, laying on right side with his back to Keller.

Knowing how badly bruised most of Toby’s left side was, Christopher was hesitant to touch him. “I’ll just lay here with you, I’m feared I will hurt you otherwise.”

Tobias nodded. “That may be for the best, right now.”

**********

The next two days were spent quietly, with Tobias moving about, working his muscles so they would not stiffen. Christopher watched him closely, noting the way he sometimes grimaced when he sat, or how he preferred the servant boy's help in his dressing and bath. "It looks better to the household," he explained. "I do not think they would understand a royal knight as my dresser."

Tobias would speak no more on the subject of his kidnapping, and in fact spoke very little. He kept a cheerful demeanor, but when he thought no one was watching, his face was drawn and tired. Keller spoke to Glory of it, and she assured him it was more than likely a result of his ordeal. As time passed, he would be more like his old self. 

On the third day, a letter arrived from O'Reily. He would be staying longer at Hampton and wished Glory to join him. Mary would be there as well, and the two could keep each other company. Glory flew to her room to pack, and would be leaving in the morning.

That night, when they went to bed, Christopher moved closer to Tobias than he had previously. "Glory is so happy, is she not?"

"She is. And I'm glad that Mary has found a good home with her." Tobias smiled, another forced action, it seemed to Christopher, and said good night before starting to roll over. 

But Christopher caught his shoulder and held him still. "If I promises to be careful," he said, "may I have a good night kiss?"

Again, a forced smile from Tobias, but he tilted his head and offered his cheek. "Of course."

Christopher brushed his lips over a relatively unharmed spot on Toby's jaw, and Tobias immediately rolled over to his side. "Good night, Christopher."

Keller fell asleep thinking about those small bruises on the backs of Beecher's legs.

 

He woke in the middle of the night, and Tobias had rolled onto his back. He was mumbling in his sleep, sounding distressed, but his words were unintelligible. Christopher did not want to scare him awake, so he carefully put his hand on Toby’s chest and slowly stroked him.

“It’s all right, my love,” he whispered. “You’re dreaming, just dreaming.”

It seemed to work – Tobias quieted, but then his eyes flew open. He looked down at the hand on his chest and yelled out, “Don’t touch me!” while struggling from the bed. His feet became caught in the bedclothes and he fell to the ground.

Christopher was there in an instant, trying to help him up, but he soon realized that Tobias was still sleeping. He was pushing at Christopher, crying for him to stay away until Keller grabbed him by the shoulders and shook him.

“Toby.” He kept his voice down, not wanting to attract any others to their room, but he spoke forcefully. “Toby, wake up, now.”

Toby’s eyes seemed to clear and he looked around. “What is happening?”

“You were dreaming, you were having a nightmare. What is it about?”

“Shillinger…”

Christopher’s blood ran cold. “What about Shillinger?”

“Shillinger…” Tobias looked at Christopher and seemed to really see him. “Keller, what is going on?”

Christopher set Toby down on the side of the bed and walked away. He felt sick, he knew what had happened but he had to hear it from Beecher’s own lips.

“You were having a nightmare…about Shillinger.” Christopher’s stomach knotted. “What happened to you, Toby? I know it was Shillinger who kidnapped you and beat you and kept you chained up.” He swallowed hard and could barely force the next words from his mouth. “What else did he do?”

Tobias looked stunned; he shook his head. “I do not understand - what makes you think it was Shillinger?”

“I do not think it, I know it! Now tell me the truth.”

“I have nothing to tell.” Beecher’s chin was lifted defiantly and that was a sign to Keller that he was lying.

“Beecher!  I saw the bruises on the backs of your legs, like fingertips. I’ve seen the way you move and how it sometimes hurts you to sit.”

Tobias’ jaw clenched and his eyes filled.

“And how you will not let me touch you. Toby, why?”

Beecher was shaking his head. "He called me that. Bastard."

"What? Who?"

"Shillinger. He called me 'Toby' while he was fucking me."

The words were spoken so calmly that Christopher at first did not believe he had heard them.

“I’m for France.” Keller turned away and went to find his pack. "In is more than likely he'll go there."

“No.”

“And why not?” Christopher stopped and turned on Beecher.

“Because I want it left alone. It is done. Shillinger has had his revenge. I do not see him returning to England.”

“Maybe he has had his revenge, but I have not had mine.” Keller’s voice was calm enough, but his hands clenched hard at his sides.

“Your revenge? You said many times that you wished to leave your relationship with Shillinger in the past, and now you can. We should see him no more.”

“I don’t speak of my revenge for my time at Warwick, or even for poor slain Barlog.” Christopher knew he should be quiet, that Tobias would not like what he had to say, but it was too late to stop the words – they boiled inside him, thick in his rage. He turned and faced Tobias. “I will have my revenge for what he did to you! Do you think I can let it go? I look at you now and all I can see are his hands on you, his mouth, his eyes looking at your naked body.”

He was shaking now and his voice rose in his despair. “When I think of him taking what is mine, using you as only I have ever done...” Christopher ran his hands over his face and then clutched his head as though he could squeeze out the images of Shillinger with his love.

Tobias moved from the bed and grabbed Keller’s hands, forcing him to look at him. “I want it done! Shillinger said –”

“Shillinger! Pray tell me what it was that Shillinger said while he had you chained in that room.”

“As much as we do not want to think it, he spoke the truth in this matter. If you go after him, if you kill him, then what is to keep his son from taking his revenge by killing you? And then can I let the man who took you from me live? It must end here.”

Tobias was looking at him, a measure of hope on his battered face, but Keller could only see the bruises.

“Is that the great truth he spoke to you? Is that why you let him fuck you, to keep me alive?” Almost before the words were even uttered, Keller regretted them.

“You bastard.” Toby was not yelling, but his voice was low and horrible, filled with a quiet rage and anguish.

Christopher was appalled at what he had said and was desperate for Toby to know. “Toby, please, you cannot think I…”

But his apology was cut short.

“I no longer know what to think. You thought me capable of deceit and betrayal back at Warwickshire.” He lowered his head, and when he raised it again his face was rife with grief. “You thought me capable of letting Shillinger fuck me then. Do you think I let him this time?”

Keller turned away, shaking his head to free his mind of the memory of that night. Tobias had been absent from their room every evening, and Ronald had tried to make him believe that Tobias had spent that time in the bed of Shillinger. His reaction had been irrational and cruel when Tobias had come back to their room that last time.

**********

_“Conversation, Christy, that was all.”_

_“Conversation? Or was it you only being able to listen as Shillinger spoke, as your mouth was full of his cock?”_

_Tobias looked as though he had been punched._

_“Or did he enjoy hearing what you had to say as he bent you over and fucked you?”_

_Tobias’ eyes filled, his anger and frustration uncontainable._

_“You bastard.” Tobias’ voice trembled in his rage and despair. “I hated every minute I had to spend with that man, yet I thought nothing of doing it for you.”_

_He took a step and slapped Christopher’s face. Keller’s eyes widened in surprise, but he stayed still as Tobias continued._

_“And tonight, when Shillinger did suggest what you accuse me of, when he offered another deal – my body for his use to keep you out of the Tower dungeon – I could not wait to find you and tell you, because I knew between the two of us we could find a way to thwart the man.”_

_**********_

Keller muttered his excuse. “Ronald had told me you shared his bed.”

“Ah, yes,” Tobias sneered, “your boy Ronald. The one who *did* go willingly to Shillinger’s bed in hopes of finding a way to turn you against me. The one whom you took back with all forgiveness, until he ultimately betrayed you, almost to your death. Do accept his word and doubt mine.”

“I do not doubt you, Toby, please believe me. But he must be punished.” Keller searched Beecher's face. “How can you not want that as well?”

Beecher put his hands on Keller’s face. “I want him out of our lives. His punishment will come to him in time.”

Keller pulled away, disgusted. “And how? Will God see fit to deliver justice? The same God that allowed this to happen in the first place?”

Tobias crossed himself. “Blaspheme will not help.”

“Nothing will help, Tobias, except for me to go after him.”

“Do not go.”

“I have to.”

Keller tried to take Beecher by the shoulders but he pulled away. “Tobias, please, I am not doubting you. I just cannot stand the thought of that man touching you. But worse than that, you would not tell me the truth of the matter.”

Beecher looked at him like he was could not trust what he had heard. “You wonder why I would not tell you the truth? The truth has come out, and look what it has done to us!” He turned away with a grimace, wrapping his arms around himself.

“Tobias, are you hurting?”

Beecher ignored the question as he turned back to Keller. “You should take Glory to Hampton, and stay."

Keller was stunned. “I am not leaving you!”

Beecher laughed, ugly and cold. “You were ready to pack a moment ago." He waved his hand at Keller's bag in the corner. “Are you saying your thirst for Shillinger’s blood is stronger than your concern for me?”

“Of course not!” Keller was held in dismay at how this was all playing out.

“Then go with Glory. Go distract your thoughts with games and drink, and if it so pleases you, bed the many women who nearly fall out of their dresses in your presence.”

“Why are you saying this? What is going on here, Toby?”

Tobias sighed. “I need to heal, Christopher. I need to be here without you looking at me every second, knowing what you’re thinking. I do not think I can stand it if I know the sight of me will be feeding your rage and desire to hurt someone.”

“Toby, I can’t go to court and make merry while you are here.”

“Then do not make merry, I do not care.” Tobias looked sadly at Christopher. “But please go, I cannot see you now.” He went to the door. “I’ll sleep elsewhere tonight so you can have the room to get ready.”

“Toby…”

Tobias shook his head. “Let us end the discussion now. Just promise me you will not seek out Shillinger while you are gone.”

Keller bristled. “You send me off with instructions on my behavior like an errant wife being put away.”

“And you see me as the ruined wife who needs defending. So perhaps we should live our lives as single men for the time being.”

Though Keller’s chest felt crushed at those words, he did not let Beecher see their affect. “As you wish, m’lord.” He bowed shortly and turned to fetch his bag. He flung it to the door at the sound of the door closing behind him.

The next morning found Christopher and Glory for Hampton Court. Glory had said her good-byes to Beecher earlier - Christopher did not see him again before they left.

Though Glory knew something was wrong, she did not speak of it, and Christopher remained quiet and subdued the whole trip. When they arrived at Hampton, O’Reily could see that his friend did not wish to talk about Beecher, and so the issue was not brought up.

Keller threw himself into court life; he was a master at pretense, as any good courtier should be. He played at the games and danced and flirted as successfully as any man there, and was largely sought out for engagements throughout the next two weeks.

But at night, just before falling asleep, he would think of Toby and how he longed to hold him again. And then on the heels of that would be his vision of Shillinger’s death at his hands.

He had been back at court for almost two weeks when a lovely young woman from the visiting court of Austria began pursuing him. She was not overt, but persistent, finding Christopher at every dance or managing to sit close to him at most meals. She was intelligent and very witty, qualities many men did not care for in their women, but ones that Christopher found inviting.

He was feeling put out one night, after no word had come from Tobias. Keller had sent Toby three letters, begging his forgiveness, declaring his love and his certainty that they could make things right between them. The silence from Toby was crushing, and on this particular night he stayed in his room, drinking through his pain.

It was quite late when there was a quiet scratching on his door. He opened it to find Lady Anne there, a dark cloak throw over her head and about her shoulders. “I was worried,” she explained, “when I did not see you tonight. I thought perhaps you might be ill.”

“No,” he grinned, going along with her ruse. “But it is very touching of you to look after me.”

“Well, I suppose I should be going on then.” She looked quickly down the hall; when she saw it was empty, she tilted her head and smiled. “Unless of course you think you might become ill later on and need someone to tend to you.” She pushed the hood of her cloak off her head and it slid off her shoulders, revealing a most low cut bodice on her gown.

Christopher laughed – here was a woman, falling out of her dress for him, just as Tobias as spoken of. And he had also given his permission for Keller to bed such a woman, if he wished. How generous of him, Christopher thought, to give me permission for anything. Obviously, Tobias was in no hurry to repair their relationship, sending him off like a bad child.

That Toby wanted to be alone right now had hurt Christopher more than he had been willing to admit to himself. But now he was tired of hurting, and if he could find comfort in the willing arms of another, he decided he would.

“Come back a little later, m’lady. I seem to feel a bit of a fever coming on.”

“Of course, Sir Keller. I will see you soon.”

 Cyril had taken to coming by and saying good-night on the evenings when Keller was in his room. He wanted to make sure that Cyril was gone before Anne returned. Soon enough, the younger O'Reily came knocking. He had a sheet of paper that he handed to Christopher. "Will you give this to Tobias when you see him? Glory wrote it for me, but it's my words. I miss him and want to see him. I told him to come visit us." Cyril gave Christopher a hug. "Maybe if he's here, you won't be so sad."

Cyril left, without Christopher having said a word. After several moments, he folded the paper put it into his jacket. What had he been thinking? He had to leave the room before Anne returned.

 

Keller made for the stables, rousing a poor young lad from what was probably a short sleep.

“Fetch my saddle, I will do the rest.”

Keller rode out, heading south along the road, forcing himself to go slowly in the dark to spare his horse from stumbling. Once the sun had risen enough to cast a light, he sped up. He didn’t know to where he rode, only that he needed away from the noise and insincerity and temptation of the court. Several miles down the road he spied a path going off into the woods; on a whim he pulled the reins to the right and disappeared into the trees.

About a mile in, he came across the reason for the path – a small church with a large garden behind. Although the garden was almost bare of its fruits, it appeared as though it had been kept up, though the yard about the church had been somewhat neglected.

Keller was about to turn and go back to the main road when he saw a well cover on the ground next to the garden. There was a buck attached to a long rope as well. He dismounted and led the horse to the well, pushing the cover to the side and lowering the bucket. Once he had the bucket raised he scooped several handfuls of the cold water and drank for himself before letting the horse drink.

He leaned against the horse, looking around at the idyll surroundings, and he missed his home with a sudden, fierce longing. How had it come to this, a trip to see family and friends and to receive pardon from the Queen had turned to a separation from his love and a temptation to lay in bed with another.

Christopher pulled himself from melancholy when he smelled smoke. Looking toward the church, he saw the white plumes coming from the chimney and lamplight in one of the windows. A door opened and a small woman stepped out, dressed in a long, shapeless gray dress, with a white hood covering her head. When she saw Keller she hesitated only a step, and then continued toward him.

“Good morning, son.” She raised her hand in greeting. “Will you be a good man and carry a bucket of water into my kitchen when your horse has his fill?”

“Of course, Mother.” Christopher felt a bit guilty for interrupting the nun’s morning routine. The horse had just emptied the bucket, and Christopher lowered it, drawing out just a bit of water to rinse it clean, then filled it again. He tied off his horse to a nearby peach tree and let his horse graze on the thick autumn grass, and then followed the nun inside.

“Are you alone?” He asked as he followed her pointed directions, filling first a pitcher then a pot over the fireplace.

“If I thought your intent was not good, I would lie and say no.”

“How do you know my intent is not good?” Christopher sat at one end of the large table while the Sister pulled out ingredients to make biscuits.

“I just know.” She smiled at Keller and pulled down her cowl, revealing short, gray hair. “And I suspect you have a troubled mind and soul.”

He ignored this last comment. “How are you out here by yourself?”

“This used to be a small convent, and I have been here many years. But the changes Queen Mary brought on, and then again when our Sovereign Elizabeth took the throne, finally forced most of the apostolate to give up or move back home.”

She dusted more flour on the dough rolled out on the table and took up a small cup, cutting out small, round shapes and laying them in the bottom of a heavy skillet. Christopher’s stomach growled and he realized it had been many hours since anything but wine and ale had passed his lips.

“I stayed here because I love it.”

“You are not afraid?”

“There is nothing of note to steal, and if anyone needs a drink or a meal, they are welcome to it.” The nun bent over the fire to flip the biscuits and Christopher held his breath at the sight of her volumous gown so close to the flames.

“Now, while we have our breakfast, you tell me why you are here.”

And Christopher did, surprising himself at all he said to the Sister. At first he told her only why he was in London, about the Queen’s pardon.

“And that has you riding off in the night into the woods, stopping to break your fast with an old woman?”

He shook his head. “No. It is a fight I had with my best friend that has me in such a state. He sent me off and now I do not know if he wants me to return.”

The Sister set out their breakfast of cold, sliced potatoes, the biscuits with fresh butter, and hot, sweet tea.

“You are very close with this friend, it seems.”

Keller nodded and realized with a start that his eyes were filling. He rubbed at them, hoping to hide his reaction, but he did not succeed. The nun patted his hand. “Tell me of your sorrow.”

And Christopher did. He told the old lady everything – about his imprisonment, and his history with Shillinger and how Beecher and O’Reily had rescued him.

He told her about the farm and vineyard he and Beecher had created together, and their call back to London for Elizabeth’s pardon.

As he talked his cup of tea never emptied, though he sipped at it throughout his tale. The nun spoke very little, only asking a question here and there to help her understand all that had gone on. But when Christopher came to Beecher’s kidnapping she remained silent, her hand returning to his to squeeze tightly.

“He doesn’t want me to seek revenge for him. I want to do only what needs to be done. Shillinger must pay. He hurt Toby, he hurt my...” Here he broke, realizing he was about to say too much. So far he had only revealed a deep friendship between himself and Beecher.

“What is it, Christopher? What were you about to say?”

Keller shook his head. “It is nothing.”

“Were you about to call Tobias your love?”

Keller’s eyes narrowed, waiting for her condemnation of him; he had no thought to refute what she was asking.

“I can see in the way you speak of him that your love is deeper than that of friend.”

“And you may save the breath you use to speak to tell me how we will not see the face of our Lord, but burn in Hell instead for our sinfulness. I will not hear it.”

He tried to stand, but the nun held tight to his hand. “I will not speak it, so stay and hear what I will speak to you.”

Keller looked at her with a doubtful eye, but waited to hear her words.

“All I can offer to you in the way of advice is that you are taking too long, sitting with me. You should be with him.”

“You do not condemn us? You do not think God will turn his back on us when we appear before him? You do not threaten to tell someone, to have us arrested for our sins?”

The Sister shook her head, a smile touching the corners of her mouth. “I saw many things when I was younger. I was not a sheltered daughter of a respectable house.” She held up her hand to stop Keller when he tried to speak. “I will not tell you of my past, only that I saw many different people who lived many varied types of lives. And some of them were good and some were bad and some who did bad things were good people. Spending time here, especially in these later years, mostly alone, with only my garden and my cats, I’ve had time to think on all of it.”

“And what do you think, old Mother?” Keller asked kindly and sincerely.

“This is what I know; man thinks too highly of himself. Of course there should be laws, and there should be a Church where the word of the Lord is shared. But when men start using the word of God to make the laws, things become messy and cruel.” She patted Keller’s hand. “But I suspect that you and your Tobias feel the same way.”

“We do, Mother. But now it seems as though none of that matters, as I fear it is the end of us.” Christopher clenched his jaw to keep from weeping, but could not block the tears that ran over his cheeks.

The nun stood and went around the table to him, wiping at his face with her apron. “Come now, how is this helping? You hurry home to him regain your lives together.”

Christopher stood. “May I hug you, Mother?”

The nun replied by wrapping her arms around Christopher’s waist and laying her head upon his chest. “Ah, it has been a while since I’ve felt the embrace of a fine looking man as yourself.”

Christopher started at her words, then leaned back his head and laughed, tightening his arms as much as he dared without hurting the old lady.

**********

He rode back to Hampton, spending only enough time there to pack his belongings and leave word for Elizabeth that he had to return home. He bade Cyril and Ryan and Glory and Mary good-bye, answering their questions by telling them he was doing what he should have done two weeks ago.

He made the ride quickly, going as fast as he dared to not over tire his horse. His heart was light on the journey, and his visit with the nun replayed many times as he went.

Reaching the Beecher manor, he ran briskly up the stairs, seeing no one but startled-faced servants as he hurried to the room he had been sharing with Toby. Finding it empty, he turned to leave and search for him when he noted the clean, empty appearance of the room. There was no jacket or collar hanging upon the hooks in the closet, and the writing desk that had held Beecher’s quill and ink was now empty.

Trying to quell the sudden sick feeling in his stomach, he went into the hall, almost bumping into the housekeeper who had followed him up the stairs.

“They’ve gone, sir,” she said. “The Lord and Lady have taken Master Tobias to the docks of London. They’ve gone on to visit with friends, but he has plans to sail home, they told me. They left only yesterday, and the young Master left this letter for you.”

Christopher went back into the bedroom, standing by the window for ample light. He broke the seal and unfolded the single sheet of paper.

_My Dearest Lord,_

_I have decided to return to our home to tend to our many endeavors. I wish you to remain and attend to court business at the Queen’s desire, or your Own._

_Perhaps this time apart will do us well in repairing the torn seams of Our Love, which I hold dear to my heart and cannot bear to see rendered so._

_Until we meet again,_

_Yours, as Ever,_

_Tobias_

And that was all. He had left him. Though his words proclaimed their love, they were brief and terse and they did not matter...he had left him. How could their love be repaired when they were so parted?

He read the missive again, as though it would somehow bring him greater peace. But it only made things worse, as he noted again how Toby did not even call him by name, and did not use Christopher’s own name of affection for him.

If they had only just left, and were traveling by carriage, perhaps he could catch up to them.

He called for a light dinner and a bottle of wine - he would sleep early and leave early.

As he drank, he tried to keep his thoughts light and happy - he would find Toby and they would be as they were. But he could not help his memories turn sour as he recalled their time at Warwick, and how Tobias had spent his evenings with Shillinger, and Ronald had spent his nights, being lied to and fucked by the bastard.

And now, years later, Shillinger had gotten what he wanted – to bed Beecher. Keller drank deeply from the bottle of good wine and longed to stop the images that sprang to him mind with that thought.

He closed his eyes and remembered how his love had come to his rescue and though the situation was less than desirable, the two of them had spent many happy moments there in that small room that Tobias had forced Robson to give them.

He drank again and recalled the first time he and Toby had made love. He knew how conflicted Tobias had been, measuring his feelings for Christopher against the teachings of the Church and all he knew to be true. But from the first he had always been a passionate lover, and Christopher’s hand found his cock as he relived that night.

*********** 

_Christopher pulled him closer, then pushed him back, tugging at his nightshirt. “Take this off.”_

_Tobias did and then the two men were stretched out nude beside each other._

_“Are you scared?” Christopher gently touched his lover’s lips, his voice low._

_Tobias pressed his fingertips against Christopher’s chest. “I would never be scared of you, but I do confess I am nervous.”_

_“We will stop at any time you wish. What I want more than anything is simply to be here next you.”_

_Tobias accepted Christopher’s kiss, slow and tender as their hands came together, fingers twined. Carefully, Christopher pushed Tobias onto his back, and his kiss grew more persistent until Tobias parted his lips and allowed Christopher’s tongue entrance._

_After only a moment, Christopher pulled back. “Are you all right?”_

_“Oh, I am more than that,” he said, wrapping his arms around his lover and pulling him close._

_Christopher laughed in his ear and kissed his mouth again before trailing kisses along his jaw and to his neck. “Oh, Toby, this is my dreams come true. I love you so – I wish I could tell you.”_

_Tobias turned his head, kissing the side of Christopher’s. “I know, I know, I love you, too. I cannot – ” He gasped and his body arched as Christopher shifted, his arm moving between them and taking his cock in hand._

_“Ah, my sweet God, Christy.” Tobias could not stop his hips from moving, his cock sliding through Christopher’s fingers as they kissed again, this time hard and desperate._

_And then Christopher pulled his mouth from his lover’s and began another path of kisses across his heated flesh, down his throat and across his chest, taking a moment to suckle each nipple in turn, and act which had Tobias fisting his hands in the sheets._

_When he looked up, Tobias had shut his eyes._

_“Toby.”_

_Tobias opened his eyes and looked down at Christy, resting his chin on Toby’s stomach._

_“Are you okay?”_

_Tobias nodded and licked his dry lips. “I am. Are you?”_

_Christopher smiled and his eyes shone. “I must pause and look at you, hear your voice, to know that you are real.”_

_Tobias ran his hand lovingly over Christopher’s dark head. “Will you kiss me again?”_

_Christopher moved back up and their kiss was deep and long. Their arms wrapped around each other tightly and Christopher’s hands found their place in Tobias’ golden curls._

_“I would like to touch you,” Tobias said when they finally broke the kiss, suddenly sounding shy._

_“I would like you to touch me,” Christopher answered, his voice rough with desire, as he made room between them._

_Tobias ran his hand over Christopher’s chest, feeling his heart beat beneath his diminished muscle. He went lower, smiling when Christopher’s stomach fluttered under his touch. His fingertips smoother over the sharp jut of hipbone, then back up again. Christopher laid back, his eyes glued to Toby’s hand, his breath coming fast and hard. Tobias took a deep breath and softly wrapped his fingers around his lover’s cock._

_Christopher groaned and his body shook. Tobias moved his hand, firm and slow. He knew from touching himself, of course, the feel of a cock in his hand. But to hold Christopher thusly, to see the passion on his face and hear the noises coming from him and know that he was the cause – he had never known anything like it, and the enormity of emotion it caused seemed to fill his gut until he thought he would burst with it._

_Christopher tensed and suddenly he moved, pushing Tobias back. “Ah, gods, Toby, I must taste you.”_

_Christopher kissed and licked across his ribs and belly while Tobias squirmed under his touch. Christopher went lower, kissing down one hip and back up the inside of his thigh. He did the same on the other side until Tobias thought surely he would die before anything more could happen. But then Christopher looked up at him, eyes heavy and dark and kissed the tip of Toby’s leaking cock. A great tremor went through Tobias’ body, and a he let out a moan. His hands found Christy’s head and held tight as the hot, slick mouth took him further. As his body continued shaking, Christopher heard Tobias' harsh whisper - "Sweet Virgin Mother, please close your eyes.”_

_Christopher could not help himself - he pressed his face into Toby's belly, laughing. When he raised his head to look at his new lover, his eyes were filled with tears._

_"Should I be offended?" Toby asked, trying to sound angry. "You take my cock into your mouth and soon you are filled with mirth?" He fixed a stern gaze on Christopher, but soon was laughing along._

_“Oh, my Toby, do you really think the sweet Virgin would close her eyes at the sight of your glorious body?”_

_“It is your ass she sees as she looks down.”_

_“Well, then, it is certain,” Christopher said, causing Tobias to jump as he licked down the length of his cock, “she will be watching.”_

_The retort Tobias had on his lips was lost in a gasp as Christopher started again what he had stopped. It was not long, only a minute or two, before Toby was pumping into his mouth. The thick, hot taste of Tobias shot through Christopher, firing his nerves and giving him his own release._

_Tobias pulled Christopher up to him, and they held each other as Tobias regained his breath._

_“Did you find that pleasurable?” Christopher teased._

_“It will suffice,” Tobias replied, prompting Christy to gently bite his neck in mock outrage._

_“But what of you?” Tobias asked, now serious as he took Christopher by the shoulders. “Do you want me to...I mean, I will try...”_

_“Shhh.” Christopher put his fingers to Toby’s lips, before taking Toby’s hand to his cock. “You have already done all you need.”_

_Tobias curled his fingers around Christopher, finding him full, but sticky and softening. He looked at him, eyes wide with surprise. “What...?”_

_Christopher pulled him close, and they lay together on their sides, nose to nose. “Toby, making love to you was all I needed. Being allowed to touch you, to kiss your body as I did, I could barely contain my passion. And then, when I tasted you as you found your completion...” he kissed Tobias deeply – “that was all I needed for my own.”_

********** 

But this night Christopher did not find his own release. He could not bring himself to completion, feeling the loss of Tobias as he did. He set aside the bottle, not needing a sick stomach and aching head in the morning and turned into the blankets, wondering if Toby would ever be there to warm his bed again.

He began his ride early in the morning. If Beecher had been unable to secure a ship right away, perhaps he would still be there, waiting for passage. This time, as he rode, his mood darkened as much as it had lightened on the journey of the day before. By the time he reached London, he was sour with his anger, which had beaten down most of his fear. He could understand Tobias wanting to go home, but why would he go without him. It could only mean he did not care. He did not seem eager to try and ‘repair the torn seams’ of which he wrote.

It would not matter the state of Beecher’s mind, Keller decided. They would make things right between them, no matter how long it took.

He left his horse at a stable, and made his way through the throngs on the docks, not letting himself see what a futile task he had at hand.

The piers were full of people making their way to other shores before the bad weather of winter came upon them; hopefully the dark clouds building over the water would not prove to be severe enough to impede their travel. There were families, taking up much space with their children and many bags and servants; there were emissaries and ambassadors, leaving on the Queen’s business; there were soldiers of fortune and young men with no ties, setting off to find jobs or excitement in their lives; and moving through all were the sailors, going about the business of getting ready to set sail.

There were ships leaving for the Normandy shore every few day - he found that one had left just that morning. If Tobias was on it, he would be a good pace ahead of him. But what if he had not left? Perhaps he was with his parents, or had decided to return to Reddam.

He swore and moved away from the crowds, anguishing over his next decision. If Toby had left him, should he run after him? If that was what Beecher wanted, perhaps he should let him have it and remain alone, wondering what had become of Keller.

As he remained indecisive, suffering in the heat, Christopher realized he was exhausted, not just physically but emotionally and mentally as well. In the last few weeks he had felt fear and relief and rage and sorrow and hope and disappointment. He couldn’t go back to Hampton Court and continue to pretend nothing was wrong, nor could he return to Reddam and be among Toby’s family.

He decided to go home and hope that Toby would be there. Just then he heard his name called out, and turned to find a man dressed in a dock worker’s uniform; Keller recognized him immediately. It was Robert Becker, an old friend of his from his younger days. Robert had been a page for Elizabeth at the time he had been knighted. The young men had been part of a social circle that had held young, titled men as well as servants of the palace. They cared not for titles at that time of their lives, only a man’s capacity for drink and prowess with a woman.

“Robert!” The men embraced and found a shady spot out of the busy foot traffic.

“What brings here, Keller? Are you traveling?”

“I believe I am.” Christopher tapped the identification badge that adorned the breast of Robert’s jacket. “How long have you worked here? You always did talk of working near the water.”

Robert chuckled. “My thoughts were more toward actual sailing, but the charming little girl I married doesn’t like me gone.” He steered Keller toward a small shack, the shade and skin of water there a great relief.

“It is a good enough position, and I meet many people here. In fact, I saw your old cohort, Beecher, just last night. He was –”

“You saw Beecher!” Christopher grabbed his friend by the arms. "Do you know where he is? What did he say?”

Robert looked taken aback by Keller’s reaction, but answered his queries. “He had just come in from Reddam and was planning on traveling to Paris. He said he was to meet up with Count Shillinger there.”

Keller felt cold. Had this been Beecher’s plan all along, to prevent Christopher from seeking out the man so that he could deal with him on his own?

“And so he purchased passage to cross the channel?”

“No. I had heard whispers of the Count’s business just days ago. My brother-in-law told me of delivering some provisions to a manor house several miles from here, about half a day's ride.”

“Who owns the house?”

“Apparently it has been vacant many years, but was left to the Shillinger family. The rumor is that the Count’s son no longer wishes dealings with him, and sent word for him to stay on English soil and not bother his door in Paris.”

“And you told Beecher all of this?”

Robert shook his head. “No, when I told him of the house – called Maris House – he asked the direction and left in a rush. He seemed very distracted and nervous.”

“Yes, we have had continued ill-fated encounters with Shillinger and I’m afraid that Beecher is headed for one more.”

 Christopher dropped several gold coins in Robert’s hand after the man gave him direction to the Maris House, and he hurried back to the stable to collect his horse.

**********

He rode as hard as he dared, stopping a few times to ask direction and rest his horse. He had gone a far distance, and the skies were darkening - not just with the setting of the sun, but with the advancing of storm clouds - when he stopped at a small inn.

The innkeeper was an older, friendly man, who gave Keller the news he wanted, that he was very close now.

"Just a couple miles down the road, you'll come to another seldom used road on your right. Down that road go about a mile and you'll come to Maris House.

"You can get there before dark falls, if you ride at a brisk pace. Perhaps you would like to stay the night and head out in the morn. I have a good keg of ale and my daughter has made a lamb stew that you won't soon forget."

"Thank you, Father, but I'll be going on."

“Well, then, just mind the road and take it slowly. Once on the side road you’ll be passin’ an old Roman ruin – you see that and you know you’re goin’ true. Another half mile or so will get you to the Maris House. Do you know the new owner? He’s just moved in, but hasn’t stopped here.”

Christopher thanked the man again, ignoring his questions, and left him several coins, then another for the boy who had been rubbing down his horse. He forced himself to go at a safe clip, but knowing that Tobias could be so close made it all by impossible.  The side road was much narrow and in bad repair, so he had to slow the gait of the horse even more. He gripped the reins hard as the panic he had been keeping at bay sought to rise out of control - what had Beecher been thinking, coming out here alone?

 *********

It was not long before he came to the ruins the inn keeper had spoken of. The small courtyard was overgrown, the walls were crumbling and the ceiling was all but gone. He began looking ahead, eager to spot the manor house. As he passed the ruin, the sky lit behind him. As he turned to look, he saw a horse tied up behind the old building. His heartbeat quickened as the distance thunder rolled - it had to be Tobias.

He dismounted his horse and led it to the opposite side of the road, fastening it to a tree. Then he crouched low and made his way across the road and around to the back of the building. He carefully looked into the small window and felt both relief and dismay at what he saw.

The room was scattered with a few old tables and chairs, the floor covered in rotting rushes. Tied to one of the chairs, with his hands held behind him, was Shillinger. The Count looked tired and disheveled, but not much harmed.

It was Tobias who was of concern to Keller. He was behind Shillinger, pacing back and forth, looking distraught. He held a large knife in front of him, both hands wrapped around its long handle.

Christopher had taken his sword from its scabbard on the horse, and now he pulled his knife from his belt. Thus armed, he continued around the building until he found a door. The doorway gave in to a small hall; he paused here to listen to the converstation between the two men inside.

“You know you will not kill me, or you would have done so by now.”

“Shut up! I have no reason not to end your miserable life.”

“We have had this discussion, haven’t we? You do not want to continue this chain of revenge. Let it end here. Keller killed my son for what he perceived to be my wrong-doing of fucking him, even though he came willingly to my arms, and I have repaid him for his crime by fucking you. If you kill me, then my son will come for him, or you, and it will continue on.”

Keller stepped into the room. “I do not think so.”

“Keller!” Beecher’s face was a mixture of shock and relief.

Shillinger grinned. “Ah, now perhaps something can actually be done. Your whore here has kept me tied up for hours, with no conclusion in sight.”

When Keller stepped closer to the captive man, he could see dried blood on his bald scalp, and a bruise forming on his cheek. He sheathed his sword, and with a quick back-hand, he added another mark to the other cheek.

When Shillinger lifted his head, his grin remained, but Keller could see a flicker of fear in his eyes, and felt a rush of pleasure at the sight.

“How did you find me, Christopher?” Tobias remained where he had been, his knife still pointed at the back of Shillinger’s head. “You will not stop me in this.”

“I went back to Reddam to find you, to make things right.” He could hear the accusation in his voice and tried to curb it; nothing was of any import right now other than dealing with Shillinger. “When I found you had left, I tried to catch you before you sailed. Luckily, I talked to Robert and he told me where you had gone.”

Tobias nodded distractedly.

“But you left too soon. If you had stayed to talk longer with Robert, you would have known that Shillinger’s son would not venture to avenge his father – he wants nothing to do with him any longer.”

Keller pressed the tip of his knife to the bound man’s throat. “Isn’t that true, Count?”

Shillinger leaned back as far as he could, and Keller again felt a mean pleasure when he noted the man’s breath came faster. “And it is your fault!” he spat, mindful of the blade pricking his skin. “After Warwickshire, I asked Andrew for his help in avenging his brother’s death, and that of our man Robson. But he refused, saying both got what they deserved, and that would be my end as well if I continued with my folly.”

“So when you went to beg our pardon of Elizabeth, it was not only to make her think you had changed your ways, and lure us back to England, but to try and make amends with your son.” Beecher’s voice held a tremor, and his hands again were shaking.

Keller looked closer at him, seeing the dark circles beneath his bloodshot eyes, and how pale he was beneath the remaining bruises. His hair, long enough to be pulled back and tied off, was hanging loose and lank, the golden curls turned dark and heavy.

This had to end now, tonight – Toby was becoming ill with the worry of it.

“Andrew is smarter than our Queen – he knew it was a ruse from the start. And so I have taken up residence here, until I can win back his affections.”

“And so there is no reason to let you live.” Tobias took a step closer. Shillinger turned his head to watch him, flinching as the tip of Keller’s knife slit a short red stripe on his neck.

Keller held up a hand to stop him. “Tobias, you cannot do this.”

“Why not?” Beecher took another step. “You were right, of course. His crimes cannot go unpunished - his kidnapping of me, his treatment of you, both in Warwick and on the battlefield? He abused Ronald and his actions were responsible for his death. And he sent Robson to kill you after all this!” Tobias looked beseechingly to Keller. His voice dropped. “He should die.”

“He should, Tobias, but not at your hand. You would regret it for the rest of your life.”

“I would regret it if I let him live.” Beecher’s face was twisted in anguish.

Keller took a step away from Shillinger, wiping the small smear of blood off the tip on his sleeve, as though he were about to sheath it. Instead he lunged forward and plunged the blade deep into the man’s stomach. “He will not live." The feel of the knife sliding through Shillinger's flesh traveled up through his arm, blooming into a satisfying warmth in his chest. He did not kill without conscience, but Shillinger did not warrant any misgivings.

Christopher could hear Toby’s gasp, and the loud echo of the knife falling to the floor. He grabbed the Count’s head and held it steady while he talked into his face.

“You think I killed Harold for revenge for what you did to me on the battlefield all those years ago. You are wrong. You may have taken advantage of me, but I was no naïve innocent, and I let go of my regret long ago.”

Shillinger tried to twist his head free of Keller’s grasp, groaning at his futile struggle.

“And I was willing to let go of your treatment of me at Warwick, and even put past me your part in Ronald Barlog’s death, and your very ill use of him.”

Keller pulled the knife from the groaning man, causing him to howl and cough a spray of blood over the front of himself and onto Keller’s hand.

“But what you did to Tobias, to my Toby, is unforgivable - you went too far. And for that you must die.”

He moved to thrust the blade again, when a hand on his wrist stopped him. Tobias had moved unnoticed to stand beside him. "Do not try and stop me, Beecher." Keller's blood was racing hot through his body - he would not be denied this death.

"I won't." Tobias' eyes were wide and bright. He turned that gaze upon Shillinger. "You miserable, fucking bastard."

Keller felt Beecher's hand tighten on his wrist, and then they were moving together, the two of them forcing the blade through Shillinger's tunic, into his chest. Shillinger looked down at the knife handle protruding from his chest, then to Keller before settling his dying gaze on Beecher, his expression one of disbelief. He sat like that, unblinking, until the front of his jacket was soaked through with blood. Finally, his head fell forward and he was gone. 

The men stood silent - there was so much to say at the moment that they could say nothing. Finally, Chrisotpher put his arm around Tobias and tried to steer him toward the door. "Let's go outside, Beecher." 

Tobias complied for a few steps, then with a jerk he pulled away. "No, we need to take care of the body. People know we were looking for him, we have to get rid of him."

Keller nodded. "I'll ride him into the woods and dump him. Did he have a horse?"

"Yes, it ran off."

Keller wanted to ask what had happened, he wanted to ask what was going to happen now. He wanted to pull Beecher into his arms and kiss him with relief and slap him in anger. But that would all have to wait. Instead, he pulled his knife from Shillinger's body and wiped it clean on the sleeve of the dead man's jacket. He untied him and let his body fall to the floor; they stood looking at him another moment, until Beecher reached for his legs and Keller his arms, taking him outside and laying him across Keller's saddle.

Keller climbed on behind the body. "I'm going to see if I can find his horse." Tobias nodded, but said nothing. Keller took off and rode out into the woods, going until there was no sign of the road or the old ruins. When he felt he had gone far enough he dismounted and pulled the body from his horse. He stood a moment looking at the man in the darkening light. "I hope you are burning in Hell," he said, spitting on Shillinger's face. "Bastard."

He went back to the road and went further on until he found the Maris House. He was hoping to find Shillinger's horse, but had no luck. On the way back to the ruins the sun set and a stiffening wind sent a light rain blowing in his face. Back at the ruin he found that Tobias had moved his horse to the better protection of a partially crumbling wall. After Keller tied his horse there, he went inside to find that Beecher had cleaned what blood he could from the floor and spread about old rushes to cover what he could not conceal.  

Tobias was not there, but a soft glow of light came from an adjoining room. Christopher found two candles stuck in wax on a table, and Beecher's saddle and pack on the floor. He was looking out the window, though there was not much he was able to see.

"Beecher..."

"I thought we should stay the night here," he answered, without turning around. "Hopefully the storm will break before morning."

"Beecher..." Keller felt helpless, standing in the middle of the room, talking to Toby's back, not daring to go to him.

"We can't go back to Reddam. If anyone finds Shillinger, or realizes he's missing, we will be suspect." Beecher's voice was low and emotionless, and Keller thought even his wrath would be welcome.

"Toby, look at me!"

When he turned, Beecher's eyes appeared gray and empty, and his face was pulled tight. "What, Keller?"

Christopher did not know what he meant to say, but the words – “You left me!!” came blurting out before he realized, leaving him feeling dangerously close to crying – or hitting Beecher.

“Can you not speak? Can you not explain yourself?” Keller was suddenly freed from his spot and began pacing back and forth. “I went back for you, to make things right between us. I gave you the time you wanted apart from me, but I missed you so much. And then I found you gone, with only that letter to explain yourself. That horrid letter that gave me little hope you wished to make things right.”

Christopher rubbed his face, his words tripping over themselves. “I almost missed you – I was going home to be with you when I happened to run into Robert.” He slammed his hand on the wall. “I would be on a ship to France now, while you would be where? Still in that room, your blade pointed at Shillinger, unable to do the deed? Or would you have killed him, and now be on the run by yourself, leaving me to wonder where you were?” Christopher clenched his hands into fists to keep from grabbing Tobias and shaking him. “Was the whole thing a ruse? Did you push me away so you would be free to take your revenge yourself? Did you mean any of it – wanting the feud to end, not wanting any more death on your hands?”

Beecher stood looking at his hands for several moments, as though the evidence of his partaking in that death would literally be visible on them.  Keller became suddenly fearful – Tobias had not been looking well, and now he had taken part in a death that he swore should not happen. Had his mind become addled, unable to deal with what happened?

But when Tobias looked up, his voice was quiet and calm, and his eyes seemed to have cleared. “Would it be enough to say – I am here because I love you?”

Keller held back a sob – he wanted that to be enough, he truly did. But his questions needed answering, or he would forever wonder. “No, Tobias, I’m sorry.”

Tobias nodded. “I know.” He took a deep breath and began speaking.

“After I sent you away, I hated myself. I was scared that you might never come back, or that when you did, things between us would not be the same."

"Why would they not? I was angry, but more than that I was worried. All you had to do was call me home and ease my mind that you still wanted me."

"Of course I wanted you!" Beecher shook his head. "It all went so wrong. When you said that I 'let' Shillinger take me like -"

"Oh, Gods, Toby, if I could rip my tongue out to take those words back, I would!" Christopher felt ill with his regret and shame.

"I know, Christy, I know." 

Christopher realized that this was the first time Tobias had used that name for him since Hampton and his eyes misted with gratitude.

"I used that as reason to send you away. I had spent the days after my attack pretending it had not happened. And when you forced the truth from me, it took all I had to admit to it. I wanted to continue my pretense, as though that would solve everything. But I could not do that with you there."

"Oh, Toby, love, all I wanted was to make things right for you, but the only way I knew how, or thought I did, was to seek revenge."

Tobias nodded. "We turned away from each other when we should have been brought closer." He took another deep breath and continued.

"After you left, all I could do was wish you back. Your absence did nothing to help me ignore the deeds done to me. My dreams became full of my time with Shillinger - I relived it over and over until I had to stop sleeping. But the memories began to invade my days as well, along with thoughts of what he had done to you and even Ronald."

Beecher wiped a shaky hand over his face. "And I realized you were right – he would have to be dealt with. He had to be made to never be a threat to us again. I could not reconcile my future until I had done so with my past.”

“Why did you not come for me then, Toby? You could have come to Hampton, we could have gone together.”

“Because I wanted you to have nothing to do with it. I wanted you blameless in this – I could not bear to think of you returning to prison, and this time the fault being my own.”

"Oh, love." The men had stood facing each other this whole time, but now Keller went to his lover and took his hand. Beecher grasped it gratefully.

"How did you manage to get him here?"

Tobias managed a humorless laugh. "I left my horse here, intent on walking the rest of the way so he would not see me coming. Once I got there...I don't know. My intent was not to kill him, though of course there could have been no other conclusion. Just as I came out of the ruins, I heard a horse coming, and without thinking I grabbed a branch and ran to the road. I yelled and his horse reared and when Shillinger fell I hit him. He was unconscious for only a few minutes, just long enough for me to get him tied up."

“If you had not surprised him, it could be you lying dead in those woods. Or held again, to be beaten and…worse.” Keller’s hatred of Shillinger flushed through him, making him wish the man alive again, so that he might kill him once more.

“I know, I was not thinking. I was so distraught – I just knew I had to make things right and that seemed to be the only way.” Tobias took Keller's other hand. 

“We should never have parted." Christopher pulled Tobias close. "Never again." The men wrapped their arms around each other, reveling in the feeling of the other’s touch. "Gods, Toby...Toby..."

Beecher pulled back to look Christopher in the eye. “You are right, never again, Christy, we can never be parted like this again. Promise you will never stop loving me.”

“You have had that promise from the moment I saw you. I cannot stop my love for you if God himself came from the Heavens and so ordered it to be done. If anything had happened to you, I would have to follow you so my eternal love could always be yours.”

Beecher smiled and kissed Keller’s cheek. “You are always the poet, have I told you that?”

“You have. Ah, that smile is a sight to be treasured.”

 **********

The men brought in Keller's pack and saddle blankets. They took his candles and prepared them for when the others died, and arranged the blankets against Beecher's saddle, putting everything in a corner to protect it from the wind and rain. 

They lay down together and listened to the rain as the wind beat it against the walls and through the windows.

Keller was surprised when he soon found his eyes closing, but before he could sleep, he had to ask - "Toby, are you all right?" Tobias would know what he meant.

There was a long pause, and Christopher wondered if he was going to be answered.

"I will be." Tobias shifted, and his arm tightened around Christopher's chest. "With you, I will be."

 

 They woke early to a clear morning, though dark clouds still sat ominous on the horizon. While they let the horses graze, they decided on what they would do next.

"Do you really mean to stay away from Reddam?" Christopher knew it would be hard for Tobias to leave his family so abruptly once again.

Beecher nodded slowly. "If Robert is questioned, or the people along the way where we asked directions..." He trailed off and Christopher's chest ached at the sadness he saw on his face. "I cannot believe that even though the man is gone from our lives, he is still dictating our actions."

They loaded the horses quickly and quietly, the atmosphere grave with the memories of the night before. They decided they would leave for home as soon as possible, once more running from their crimes. The dark skies led them to believe that there would be no ships sailing, or at least those deemd only necessary by the Queen's Navy.

"We should find a place to stay. It needs to be close to the docks, but not somewhere we could be easily found." Tobias was going over their options as they rode onto the main road.

Christopher thought a moment, and grinned as the answer came to him. "I know a place."

**********

They took a longer route than they had to, going around the city of London, rather than through it. They stopped a few times to take shelter under heavily branched trees when the heavy rains returned, and by the time they reached their destination they were soaked through. 

The Sister was in front of the Church, feeding a few chickens and ducks in the light rain. When she saw Christopher, her face lit up. “I was thinking about you just this morning, my son.” Her eyes traveled to Tobias, who was dismounting his horse. “And this is your friend you told me about?”

“It is, Mother. Lord Tobias Beecher, this is the good Sister, whom I met just a few days ago. We have her to thank for our reunion.”

“Indeed?” Tobias stepped up to the nun. “Then I hope you do not mind a hug from me.”

“No, I do not think she will,” Christopher laughed, and the nun laughed as well.

Tobias and Sister Marie (as Christopher finally discovered was her name) got along very well, as Christopher suspected they would. She asked no questions when they explained they needed a place to stay for a few days, and said nothing when she made up just one bed for them in the rectory behind the church. During breaks in the storm they made repairs on the old buildings and chopped a small mountain of firewood. They spent many hours drinking tea and eating the biscuits that Sister Marie made by the dozens. 

Finally, on the eve of the third day, after several hours of clear skies, they decided they would leave in the morning. Sister Marie would make sure letters were delivered to Toby's family and to Ryan and Gloria. They would not mention Shillinger, of course, but in the letter to the Beecher's they would simply say they felt a pressing need to return home. O'Reily's letter, while saying nothing specific, gave enough clues that if he ever heard anything about Shilllinger, he would understand.

 They lay in bed that night, wrapped around each other as they had since their reunion. Christopher thought nothing felt as good as Toby in his arms. But this night, Toby wanted more. His hand slid down Christopher's body and firmly found a place between his legs. "Christy," he whispered against Christopher's cheek, "I want you to make love to me. I need to know that everything will be all right."

Christopher turned toward Tobias and kissed him. "Are you sure? We can wait until we are home."

Tobias kissed him back, pressing his tongue deep into Christopher's mouth. "I want you now. I want to feel you in me, to erase all memory of that bastard."

Christopher moaned at Toby's words and the way he was tugging at his balls. "I will argue this with you, Toby. Over the last few weeks, every time I have thought of us being together like this, I have seen you taking me. I want to be yours."

Tobias held himself on his arms to look into Christopher's face. "On most occassions, I would let you win the argument," he smiled before his expression turned somber. "But after Shillinger..." He broked off and swallowed hard. "I need to know..."

Keller stroked Beecher's face. "Do you really need to prove anything to yourself, or is it to me?" His hands slid down Toby's back and came to rest on his naked behind, gripping the soft handfuls of flesh. "I need no proof of your love, and that is all that matters to me." He spread his legs and pulled Tobias down on top of him. "Please, Toby, fuck me. With this we will put the distress that Shillinger has caused behind us."

Toby paused only a moment before rolling onto his back. "If you will be on top of me, so I can see your face." 

After Tobias quickly made him ready with his long fingers covered in lamp oil, Christopher sank down onto his lover's cock, gasping as he was stretched and filled. It didn't take them long - it seemed as though it had been years instead of weeks since they had made love. Christopher watched Toby's face the whole time as he moved up and down, taking his lover completely inside of him with each stroke, loving the way Tobias reacted to his movements. 

"Oh, God, Christy, I am not long for it!" Toby's hand found Christopher's cock and moved quickly, bringing him to his release at the same time Tobias cried out his own pleasure. Afterward, they lay side by side, holding hands and kissing, long, deep kisses that neither wanted to end. 

"I love you, my Toby. This horrible time has only shown me I love you more than I thought possible." He took Toby's hand and kissed his fingers.

Tobias pressed his palm to Christopher's face. "I am sorry for the pain we caused each other. Mayhap it is because our love is so deep that our pain can cut so deep as well."

"This will be a lesson to us, nothing can be fixed if we are not together."

"I love you, my Christy."

************ 

"Are you sure, Toby, that you do not want to see your family first?"

They were by their horses in the church yard, waiting for the Sister to bring them a lunch she had prepared for their ride.

“Of course I would like to, Christy, but I think this is the best for all.” Tobias stepped closer, taking Christopher’s hand in his. “Besides, you are my family now, all I will ever need again. I would love to come back and see my mother and father and brother, and of course our friends, but if that were to be impossible, I would be content. You are my life and you fill it completely.”

"As you filled me last night," Christopher whispered.

Tobias rolled his eyes before looking quickly around. "We are in a church yard, you heathen."

"What?" Christopher laughed out loud. "You fucked me in a priest's old bed and now call me the heathen?" Christopher gently pulled on a lock of Beecher's hair, already looking brighter, as Beecher himself was looking much better than that day in the old ruin. "After all we have been through, I would hide away in a cave with you and never need to venture out.”

Tobias smiled, a look that was just for Christopher. “I think perhaps our home on the hill would do in place of a cave, don’t you?”

“I cannot wait until we are there once more.”

“Nor I.”

The men kissed, and though they had both meant just a quick kiss, in case Sister Marie returned, their love and joy in each other would not let that be the case. Their arms wrapped around each other and they were lost.

Sister Marie stood by the door, waiting patiently for them to finish. She looked skyward, shaking a finger with her free hand at the Heavens. “Don’t tell me that is wrong, my God. How is love wrong?”

~end~

 

 

 


End file.
